


Eyes For You

by Diarmuid224



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Jealousy, One-Sided Attraction, Redemption, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26722474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diarmuid224/pseuds/Diarmuid224
Summary: Penny's perspective on the growing relationship between the younger brother of Jacob, Alexander Ambrosius, and the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts, Merula Snyde, and the mix of jealousy, sorrow, and love that comes with it.
Relationships: Penny Haywood & Player Character, Player Character/Merula Snyde
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	1. Beginning of Reflections

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JuniperTrees](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniperTrees/gifts).



> After several days and nights of work, my first story for AO3 is finally done! Here's hoping it's alright for my first time. Now, a couple of warnings I want to give for this story before we begin:
> 
> 1\. If you're a Player Character/Penny Haywood fan, this one might be a bit tough for you. I love Penny as a character, and I think the ship with her and the MC is nice, but I personally prefer Player Character/Merula Snyde. This story is all about her witnessing that relationship grow on the sidelines, with obvious feelings of jealousy and envy, and while I promise the end will have her in a better place, she does get hit pretty hard emotionally. So I thought I would warn you ahead of time.  
> 2\. This is kind of an alternate universe, in that my own take on the MC, Alexander Ambrosius, or Alex, is a bit different from the canon version. It's my own interpretation of the character, and how their background would have affected them if it was expanded on. It mostly travels along the same road as canon, but there are a few differences character wise here and there.  
> 3\. This story assumes that all, or at least most, of the events/side quests have been completed. There will be references to some of them, and some of them in particular (Christmas, Celestial Ball, First Date, Valentine's Day, and Festival Fun) will get big focus as they pertain to Alex and Merula's growing relationship.  
> 4\. Finally, if Penny seems to act a bit more emotional or angry than in canon, remember: she's a teenager. Like, that's a big thing with all the characters, from Merula to the MC, so on and so forth. These are kids, and realistically? Yes, they would be unreasonable, illogical, emotional, because they're kids. So if Penny acts a bit more like a teenager than she does in canon, I think that's to be expected.
> 
> Finally, shout out to JuniperTrees. I'd been thinking about something like this for a bit, and then I read 'truth be told', specifically the note about Penny responding to the MC saying 'Merula is the most beautiful' with 'am I a joke to you?' and it gave me a lot of inspiration. Speaking of, feel free to read that and other stories by JuniperTrees, they're really good!

“I think I’m gonna hit the hay for tonight, Penny, I’m exhausted. What a day!” Penny Haywood couldn’t help but giggle as her friend and fellow Hufflepuff student Tonks pulled away from the hug they’d been sharing, a big smile on her exhausted face. Even the notorious party girl and prankster had been tired out by the festival for the celebration of magic. It really had been a long but exciting day, even if things hadn’t gone as she’d hoped.

It had been wild, attending classes outside, campaigning for the spot of festival ambassador, the festival itself...not to mention an exciting duel between a supposed legend and one of Hogwarts’ prodigies, one of her friends, and the boy she had had a crush on for years now. 

That thought made her face fall a bit, and Tonks, as empathetic and loyal as she was, caught it instantly, her smile growing soft as she placed her hands on Penny’s shoulders.

“Hey, listen. I know you’re probably disappointed about the whole...festival ambassador thing. But you had a great run, and got a lot of votes!” Tonks said, and she really did appreciate the support even if that wasn’t what she was truly upset by.

“Yeah, you’re right. And besides, you saw how happy Alex and Merula were! So even though I lost, that’s no reason to be sad…” Penny’s smile was bright and cheery, but judging by the look on Tonks’ face it wasn’t convincing. The other girl pulled her into another hug, and after a moment Penny returned the embrace, her breath coming out hitched. When Tonks pulled away again, the expression on her face was a little sad.

“If you need me...you know where I am.” Penny nodded, but she no longer met the prankster’s eyes, and as she heard her friend’s footsteps grow more and more distant, she finally went back inside her room and sat down on her bed. 

Closing her eyes, she thought back on what happened today again. Her hands clenched involuntarily, and she only realized when she felt her nails biting into the palms of her hands.

The truth be told, it wasn’t losing the competition for the position of festival ambassador that was bothering her. It was disappointing, she wouldn’t deny that, but it was another competition she had lost today that was really digging into her.

‘Though, is it really that much of a competition? When your opponent has the lead on you 4-0, it’s not much of a fight…’ And didn’t that just sting the most? If she had gotten even a single ‘point’ in this match, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. But she’d been unable to gain a single victory over her rival, a single moment of success and happiness and perhaps love.

Merula Snyde had once again emerged victorious, seemingly without any effort at all. 

Perhaps the one positive of how one-sided this contest was was that she didn’t even really feel hurt anymore, just tired and a little disappointed. She knew she had no real chance with her crush. With Alexander Ambrosius.

Alexander, Alex to most of his friends, Al to Rowan and Bill, Lex to Tonks and Barnaby, was a proud member of Gryfindor, the younger brother of Jacob Ambrosius, and the rising star of Hogwarts, a young man who had led his house to victory after victory every year. He was brave and kind, sly and teasing, smart and strong, and loyal to all those he called his friends. He was also the boy Penny’s heart longed for. And the boy it seemed was beyond her reach.

That wasn’t to say he was distant, or that he was ignoring her. That he didn’t still consider one of his cherished friends. Alex had always been there for her when she needed him, and that hadn’t changed now. The red-head had taken to her beloved sister’s case like a bloodhound, searching out any clues or hints relentlessly, checking in on her to make sure she was doing alright. He had kept her from doing anything rash or self-destructive, and for that she was forever grateful. And from what he had told her, he and his group were very close to breaking the portrait curse and freeing Bea. She should have been happy.

Except that, for as much as his friendship made her heart soar, she wanted more than just friendship. For as happy as knowing how close the curse breakers were to freeing her sister should have made her, it was spoiled by knowing Merula was among the group, and that she was now around Alex far more than anyone else was. Even worse since Alex specifically  _ chose _ her to be with him on his missions.

When did things change? When did Alex and Merula go from sworn enemies to rivals to friends? To perhaps even lovers? Penny asked herself this, but she knew the truth. It had been something that had been happening for years, as the two competed against each other in classes and with the Cursed Vaults and so much more. With anyone else, such competition would have poisoned them against each other for life, but Alex and Merula  _ revelled _ in it.

The two had been, even before this year, seeking each other out whenever they could. Duels, races, verbal sparring matches, competitions to see who could get better grades, the two always seemed eager to try and outdo each other. She’d heard Ismelda grumbling for the two of them to just ‘get a room and shag already’ for some time now, and while the two hadn’t actually done such a thing yet, at least she hoped, they’d certainly grown closer.

Perhaps, the truth was it all really started during their first year at Hogwarts, at the height of their rivalry and Merula’s nastiness. It was on Christmas, and the Slytherin girl was, to the surprise of no one, not exactly drowning in gifts. She hated feeling satisfaction at other’s misery, but Penny didn’t exactly think Merula deserved anything special after the way she acted.

But Alex apparently thought otherwise. Otherwise, why else would he have been the only one to get her a gift?

* * *

_ It was Christmas Day, and a young Penny Haywood could not help but feel excited. She was surrounded by all her new friends that she had made at Hogwarts, and all of them were taking the time to exchange gifts and talk about what they hoped to get. Alexander Ambrosius, or Alex as he had insisted he be called, was sitting with them, his emerald eyes shining with happiness, and as her own eyes met his, he gave her a warm smile, warm enough to make her own face heat up. _

_ And yet, for as happy as he looked, there was also a strange hesitation to him, as if he was thinking of doing something but was unsure of whether to go through with it or not. His gaze occasionally drifted from their group to elsewhere, and in his hands Penny saw him fiddling with something. A present? Oh, yes, that’s what it was. He tapped his fingers on the table, an odd, irregular beat, and the blonde Hufflepuff girl realized that the normally confident boy was nervous about something. But what could it be? _

_ ‘Perhaps he’s waiting for someone? Another friend he was expecting, and that’s who the present is for?’ Penny wondered. She couldn’t deny feeling curious, and she leaned forward a bit, trying to see if she could sneak a peek at what he was hiding. But whatever it was, it was rather carefully stored in a wrapped present box, so she couldn’t tell what it might be. _

_ Suddenly, Alex stood up, and for a moment Penny worried he might have seen her trying to peek and had taken offense to it. But he was still smiling, albeit a bit awkwardly, and his voice held no anger or annoyance to it. _

_ “Be right back, guys. Have to deliver a present to someone.” Alex spoke, and Penny felt her curiosity grow. Who could it be that he had to deliver a present to, and why did he look so nervous? _

_ The rest of their friends wished him well, and told him to come back as soon as he could so they could all open their presents together, before going back to laughing and talking with each other. Penny, still very curious, kept her eye on Alex, trying to see where he was going, and despite herself felt her jaw drop just a bit, her eyes going wide. _

_ Because Alex was going to Merula’s table. Striding towards it with clear intent, and if Penny was not so disbelieving of what she was seeing she might have wondered how no one else was noticing him. The young wizard wasn’t exactly what most would call plain or unnoticeable. What was he doing? _

_ It did not take Merula long for her to notice her enemy’s arrival at her table, and she looked just as confused as Penny felt. The tables were set apart from each other, but not so far that Penny couldn’t hear them if she strained her ears. And she did, because she just had to know what in the world was happening. _

_ “You seriously got me something?” Merula asked, her voice tinged with disbelief. It did not become any less disbelieving or confused when Alex sat down across from her. “You’re such an idiot.” _

_ “Ah, just open your present, Merula.” Alex’s voice was a little harder to hear since his back was turned to her, but the exasperation could have been heard from a mile away. Which was weird, since if he was so annoyed by her attitude, why had he gone over to her in the first place? _

_ Whatever his reasons, Merula tore into the present with surprising eagerness for it having been a gift from her rival, giving it only a token shake, but then, it was her only present, so Penny supposed it wasn’t that surprising. When she finally opened it, the witch’s eyes went wide, and the blonde’s own eyes looked down to see that within the box had been a song book of all things. _

_ “You got me a song book?” Penny pre-emptively winced as she heard that, already expecting Merula to tear into Alex for giving her such a thing, with some cruel remark for his kind gift. _

_ “I know it’s sort of strange, but I--” For the first time since she’d known him, Alex sounded somewhat nervous and embarrassed, and Penny was about to stand up to help her friend, knowing what would come next, only for what she thought would come next never to come. _

_ “How did you know I wanted a song book?” Merula instead said, shocking Penny into stillness. Of all the things she had been expecting as a response, that had not been one of them. Alex had apparently been surprised too, since she saw him shift a bit. _

_ “W-well, truth be told? I didn’t, really. Peeves told me. Do you...like to sing?” _

_ “I…” Merula started, only to stop again, sounding surprisingly hesitant. Then she seemed to steel herself, and if Penny had not already been seated, what Merula said next might have sent her toppling over.  _

_ “Thank you, Alex.” And Merula smiled a surprisingly dazzling smile, one that seemed so at odds with the near constant scowl that adorned her face. “Happy Christmas.” _

_ Though Penny could not see Alex’s face, she could guess what it looked like by the way he sat. First, an expression of shock and disbelief, and then, another of his warm smiles, this time directed Merula’s way for the first time. _

_ “Merry Christmas, Merula.” Alex said back, voice as warm as it would have been if he was talking to one of his friends rather than his rival. And perhaps it was a trick of the light, but Penny could have sworn she saw a brief streak of red across Merula’s face, and something about the way the Slytherin girl looked at Alex seemed to change. _

_ For some reason, it made her feel cold. _

* * *

After that, Merula had come to sit at their table, prompted by Alex, and while their other friends seemed unsure about it, Penny herself felt unsure about something else entirely. Why had she felt cold? Why had she been disturbed by this change in behaviour between the two? She should have been happy, right? It hadn’t even been limited to just Alex giving Merula a present, either: the other girl had also taught him a spell, one that created snow, and while she had gone back to her normally angry, scowling self soon enough, storming off and demanding she be left alone, she had come back again later to join the party in the Great Hall, and even encouraged Alex to cast the spell she had taught him

It had been bizarre, and no one was quite sure what to think of it, Alex and Merula themselves most of all. The two seemed to renew their usual rivalry right after, but there was something different about it, something no one could quite place.

Time after time, the two seemed to run into each other again and again. Sometimes as enemies, sometimes as reluctant allies, but whatever the case, the two seemed almost drawn to each other. And perhaps, perhaps that would have been fine. Even if they became friendly rivals, they were still rivals, so what did it matter? Except it did matter, because they didn’t remain rivals, or if they did, they were the closest rivals she had ever seen. It was, after all, not often that someone took their rival to a ball as their date.

The Celestial Ball, their fourth year. It was something that came with deeply mixed feelings for Penny. On the other hand, there was pride in having set it up, in having made it as wonderful as it was along with her friends, all without the use of magic. Granted, she had needed some help from Alex to help convince her other friends of that last point, but she was fine with that. The joy of having worked to make it, the laughs she had shared with her friends setting it up, it had all been so innocent and silly. That part of her memory, at least, refused to be tainted. The problem came with what happened at the dance itself.

More specifically, the fact that Alex had chosen Merula as his dance partner and date rather than her.

And she didn’t think she was being unreasonable in that regard, at least. She knew that, for all that Alex and Merula’s relationship had shifted over the years, the two were still rivals. Sure, his grumblings about her had grown more and more good-natured over the years. Sure, her insults and barbs had been filled with less venom and more playfulness. Yes, he had taken to calling her ‘Firebrand’ in a tone that almost sounded fond, and of course, Merula calling him a ‘daft fool’ or something along those lines had started to sound like a nickname rather than an insult, but it didn’t actually mean anything, right?

Her pillow that night had been more than a little wet after realizing just how wrong she was.

* * *

_ “Wotcher, Penny! Have you asked Lex out to the ball yet~?” Tonks was teasing her again, and Penny couldn’t help but blush at the mention of her crush, or more specifically, the idea of asking him out to the dance. She wanted to, so very very much, but she was too nervous. Alex hadn’t approached her yet, or any of their other friends, so part of her wondered if he was even planning to take a date, or if he was going to go by himself out of nervousness or disinterest. _

_ “Tonks, please. I promise, I’ll ask him sometime before the ball, I’m just...nervous.” Penny responded as she refused to meet her friend’s eyes, even as she heard a laugh from the other girl. Then, feeling just a bit mischievous, she said, “And what about you? Who’s your date to the ball?” The laughter turned into a surprised choking fit, and Penny couldn’t help but grin. _

_ “A-ah, well, I don’t really fancy anyone like that, so I haven’t asked anyone...or been asked…” Now it was Tonks’ turn to refuse to meet her eye, and Penny felt more than a little amused at the sight. Before she could say anything else, however, she started to hear the whispers their fellow students were spreading. Rumors spread like magic at Hogwarts, and so it wasn’t really surprising to hear some new rumor spreading so rapidly. What was surprising were the contents of these rumors, however. _

_ “Did’ja hear? Red-head Alex has got himself a date to the ball!” _

_ “What? You mean Alexander Ambrosius? Who’s the lucky lass that bagged him?” _

_ “C’mon now, you know there’s only one girl Alex chases after.” _

_ “You mean Merula Snyde?! The self-proclaimed ‘Most Powerful Witch’, the girl he’s always badgering with, the one who can’t seem to decide whether she wants to kiss him or kill him?” _

_ “That’s the one!” _

_ “Oh bollocks, I’ll believe it when I see it. Those two are like cats and dogs!” _

_ “Pretty sure cats and dogs don’t take each other to the ball, mate.” _

_ Penny felt her heart stop, and for some reason she found it hard to breath. Alex? Going to the dance? With Merula?! Not...not her? She swallowed, finding it hard to breathe for some reason. Tonks put her hand on Penny’s shoulder, and she turned to face her friend, who looked concerned. _

_ “Penny...Penny, they’re just rumors. You know how wild rumors can get at Hogwarts, there’s no guarantee that he’s actually going out with her to the Celestial Ball. I mean, why would he?” A nervous chuckle left Tonks’ lips, and Penny’s heart sank just a bit. “I even mentioned that you...may or may not have wanted him to take you to the dance earlier. I’m sure he…” But the prankster didn’t finish, and a thought occurred to Penny that sunk her heart deeper. _

_ ‘But did he want to take  _ me _ to the dance?’ _

_ It had been something she fretted about for some time. Tonks had left, ostensibly to tease Alex about the rumors and see if there was any truth to them. When she’d come back later, her face had been downcast, and Penny almost wanted to cry. It wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true. It was all a joke, right? Alex and Merula were constantly bickering, throwing jabs at each other at any chance they could. Why would either of them go to the ball with each other? But she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she was wrong. _

_ Later that night, at the ball itself, she saw Alex talking with Rowan and Ben, wearing an outfit that, well, it looked rather fetching on him if she was being honest. Rowan and Ben looked rather nice as well, and she supposed that confirmed the rumors of Andre taking an interest in fashion and sharing his work with his friends. The three were happily chatting, and Penny saw her opportunity to speak with Alex and not only thank him for all of his help...but to also learn the truth, and if the rumors were wrong after all, maybe, maybe this could still be their night. _

_ “Apologies, I need to steal Alex for a moment!” Penny’s voice was light despite her inner thoughts and worries, and when Alex turned to her with that warm smile she so adored, she felt like perhaps there was a chance after all. After quickly saying his goodbyes, he followed her to a short distance away, hopefully out of hearing of others. For a moment, they made a bit of small talk: she complimented his outfit, he told her she looked pretty in her dress, she blushed, that sort of thing. Then… _

_ “It may sound soppy, but I feel like you’ve been part of my Celestial Ball journey from the start!” Penny informed her friend, her smile bright and voice bubbly, and Alex blinked for a moment before giving her a big grin. _

_ “You’ve been part of my journey as well, and I’m glad you were. You certainly know how to make it a wild ride!” Alex winked at her, not feeling the least bit of shame for teasing her in such a way, and Penny couldn’t help the nervous giggles or the butterflies in her stomach. Then, his expression returned to something more amicable, and he asked, “After all that drama, has your name been announced yet?” _

_ Almost right after he asked, Dumbledore stepped forward at the front of the room, the grandfatherly wizard calling for attention before recognizing her in front of the entire Celestial Ball, complimenting her work and turning to her a smile filled with pride. Warmth filled Penny, and she stood up as straight as she could, her face actually hurting a bit from the wide smile stretching across it. It was a feeling like none other that Penny had ever experienced, and she knew that this moment was something she would cherish forever. _

_ “Aaaah! I feel like I may explode with joy right now!” Penny couldn’t help but shout out her glee and pride, and beside her she heard Alex laugh and offer his own congratulations for her work. It was the height of her night, standing next to her crush after having been acknowledged by Dumbledore himself for all her hard work and dedication. She felt proud, joyous, like she could do anything. _

_ So perhaps it only made sense that the rest of the night was a steep drop down. _

_ Well, perhaps that was inaccurate. Seeing William ‘Bill’ Weasley was certainly no downside, the older boy happily greeting them both. She rather liked Bill, seeing him as an older brother figure, someone she knew she could trust, even if he could be a bit of a tease himself. He was laid back and serious, casual and hardworking, a responsible person who cared for others. And she certainly enjoyed seeing him turn down Emily, giving the nasty girl the dressing down she deserved. But it was something he said before that that started the downwards spiral of the night. _

_ “And did things work out for you with bringing a date, Al?” Bill asked, not noticing how her face had paled and how the butterflies in her stomach had become wasps all of a sudden. And then Alex, smiling wider than she’d ever seen him smile before, made it even worse. _

_ “You bet they did! I’m here with-” Penny wasn’t sure whether she was grateful or annoyed by Emily interrupting them. Grateful that she didn’t have to hear who Alex was here with, or annoyed that she didn’t get to find out. Either way, Bill’s blatant refusal of her left Emily stunned, and the blond Hufflepuff, driven by both her pre-established dislike of the older girl and the dark feelings bubbling up inside of her knowing that Alex was here with someone else, and possibly with the one Penny dearly hoped he wasn’t, led her to drop a bit of sarcasm herself. _

_ “I’ll walk you out, Emily. And by the way, nice hair.” Ignoring Emily’s subsequent whining, Penny escorted the older girl out, all while trying not to focus on the revelation she’d just had about Alex and his mysterious date. Emily, thankfully, was too embarrassed to put up too much of a fight, though her complaining and ranting had taken up more of Penny’s time and patience than she would have ever wanted. She wanted to return by Alex’s side as soon as possible, to find out what was happening, who he was there with, and, and, maybe why he had chosen to go out with them instead of her. _

_ But unfortunately, it was not to be. Friends, well-wishers, party goers, and even some of the staff all took up her time, congratulating her on a job well done. And as happy as that made her, it wasn’t what she was after now. But perhaps she should have let them distract her, so she didn’t have to see what she did when she finally found Alex again. _

_ Because with him was none other than Merula Snyde, and to the blonde’s muted horror, her fellow witch had cleaned up quite nicely, wearing a dress that perfectly accentuated her figure without being revealing or trashy. Penny had always known that Merula was beautiful, but seeing her like this, and worse, seeing her like this with Alex, Penny felt like she had shrunk down, as if seeing the two together like this had cost her a few inches of height. Her mouth felt dry, while her tongue was glued to the roof of her mouth. Her eyes were starting to grow wet, and she wondered briefly if someone had cast a paralysis spell on her, because she couldn’t seem to move. _

_ The two were talking, chatting, smiling and laughing together, and she felt the same chill she had on that Christmas so many years ago. _

_ “Ambrosius! I was about to give up on you. I thought maybe you changed your mind.” _

_ “Merula! That’s quite the dress! You look beautiful!” _

_ “Well, I made an effort. You did, too. I mean, you look nice. Very nice. Now let’s check out this dance together.” _

_ ‘Stop it. Stop it, please’ Penny begged, but the problem with begging with your thoughts is that only  _ _ Legilimens could hear you. _

_ “Quite the crowd, eh, Firebrand? Looks like there’s people from every year of Hogwarts.” _

_ “Still going with that ridiculous nickname? I see you’re just as much of a daft fool as ever.” _

_ “What, would you prefer something more cutesy like Songbird?” _

_ “Songbird?” _

_ “Merula means blackbird, after all, and I know you like singing. So it fits, yeah?” _

_ “I’m...surprised you know what my name means.” _

_ “I like to learn things about the people that are important to me.” _

_ Now there really were tears starting to prickle at her eyes, and it seemed more and more like the noise from the rest of the ball was becoming like static, and all she could hear was the conversation she wanted to hear the least. Her feat, as if enchanted by some form of magic, moved on their own, carrying her closer to the two. _

_ “You know, I didn’t know what to expect tonight. After all the planning and drama we all went through setting this whole thing up…” Alex shook his head, a smaller smile than his usual on his face. “But I think it was all worth it. The Celestial Ball has been really special.” Then he paused, and laughed. “And hey, looks like Tonks was right. Out of all of our friends, we’re the only ones here with a date!” _

_ “I don’t know if I’m more surprised that I’m your date,” Merula spoke, raising an eyebrow at Alex, “Or that you just lumped me in with your group of friends.” _

_ “Hey, it’s not like we’re mortal enemies, right? At least, not all of the time.” Alex shot back, and if her eyes weren’t deceiving her he moved perhaps just a bit closer to Merula. _

_ “Well, I’m glad you’re not my enemy tonight, Alex. I’m glad you’re my Celestial Ball date. For someone so ridiculous, you’re...pleasant to be around like this.” Merula almost seemed shy, with the way she fidgeted, turned, and smiled towards Alex. And yet, it seemed like she too was moving just a bit closer. _

_ Finally, Penny regained control of her body, of her legs, and while she didn’t quite run out of the ball, it was a near thing. Tears were now openly streaming down her face, and she desperately hoped that no one had seen. Why? Why was he with Merula? She was terrible! She was mean and angry and completely unrepentant of anything she had ever done, so why was she the one that Alex wanted to dance with? _

_ Was the fighting and squabbling part of it? Alex had once joked that he was the type of boy that pulled his crush’s pigtails, but what if that hadn’t been a joke? Merula, who once bullied others at any chance she got, more and more had focused her attention on Alex. Was that her own way of showing her feelings, challenging the boy and making him push her back? That wasn’t how relationships were supposed to work, not any relationship she’d ever heard of! Her parents weren’t like that, the couples she read about in stories weren’t like that, so why were Alex and Merula like that? _

_ When she finally reached her room, Penny flopped down on her bed and started to cry, her pillow soon growing soaked as she let out her anguish on it. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, she was Alex’s friend, not Merula! She was the one who did things with him like set up the ball or hang out as friends, rather than challenging him to duels or insulting him. And yet, somehow it was only Merula he chased after, only Merula that he had eyes for. Why? Why? _

_ She didn’t know how long she had laid in her bed crying. It might have been minutes, or hours, but she was oblivious to it. It was a knock on her door and the reluctant, worried voice of her friend Tonks that brought her back to reality. _

_ “Penny? Penny are you okay?” Penny sniffled, not saying anything for a while, but when she was finally about to open her mouth and respond, another voice spoke up and her eyes went wide. _

_ “...Penny? You disappeared during the ball, and no one knew where you went. Are you-” Whatever he was about to say was cut off by a fresh round of sobs from her, and she was sure that Alex had probably recoiled from the door upon hearing it. _

_ “Um, ah...Lex, Lex I think it might be better if you went.” _

_ “Did, did I do something wrong? I...you’re right. Sorry. I-I hope you feel better, Penny.” _

* * *

It was funny how a perfect night could go so wrong so quickly. 


	2. Of First Dates, Crushes, and Jealousy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit unusual in that it's the only one dedicated to a single event instead of multiple. The last chapter is somewhat similar, but that's more because it's based on something that didn't happen in canon, so it deserve its' own spot.

Rumors spread fast at Hogwarts, and perhaps the only reason news of her fleeing the very ball she had set up was not known throughout the school was because they were talking about how Alexander Ambrosius and Merula Snyde had been on a date with each other, had been dancing with each other. Alex, for all that he did not seek the spotlight out, was a very popular wizard, his compassion and helpfulness combined with his mind and sense of humor, not to mention his looks, drew others to him like a magnet. Merula was nowhere near as popular, a combination of her attitude and her lineage, but there was still a grudging respect for her skill and mind. The fact that she was able to mostly keep up with Alex, even if he had the lead, spoke volumes of just how spectacular she would be without such a rival.

Even back then, whispers had abounded at the possibility of the two becoming a power couple, a leading force within the school, and even their resumed competition and arguments and taunts did not stem the rumors. Especially since more and more those fights were filled with an odd tension that Penny was sure hadn’t been there before.

Penny remembered how distraught she had been after that night, and how Alex, Tonks, and the rest of her friends had been more careful around her for a time. Alex himself had looked a mix of confused, frustrated, and guilty, as if he couldn’t decide if he should be upset about how she was distancing herself from him or if he should be upset about how he’d ‘clearly’ done something wrong. Tonks, for the first time, had gently implied to Penny that perhaps her crush on Alex wasn’t worth pursuing.

_“He’s a good guy, Pen, but he doesn’t...he doesn’t see you that way. And as long as Merula is around, I don’t think he will. He only has eyes for her, and he can’t see anyone else no matter how they try to get his attention...”_

But Penny had ignored her friend’s advice, not wanting to give up so easily. Maybe Merula had gotten to dance with him, to be his first ‘date’, but that didn’t really count, right? It was a dance, a ball, not even a real date, and the two hadn’t even danced together, just danced with each other. There was still a chance, she had to believe that.

The blonde Hufflepuff let out a scoff at the thought. She was sure it would have surprised her friends, hell it probably would have surprised Merula, that sweet, bubbly Penny could even make such a sound, but she was human, too. She folded in on herself a bit, arms crossing over the knees she had brought to her chest. It had been a rough year in general, and remembering and digging up all these old wounds was not in any way helping her in that regard. The familiar bubbles of jealousy and longing rose up within her, and Penny found it hard to resist them. Her naivete and stubbornness had caused her quite a bit of pain.

* * *

 _“Seriously? Who does he have a crush on?!”_ _  
__“Nobody knows! Apparently Snape read a confession note Al was writing out loud, thinking he was cheating, but I guess tall, dark, and terrifying has some sense of decency because after realizing what it was he gave the note back without revealing who it was!”_

 _“Five galleons says it’s Merula.”_ _  
__“After the Celestial Ball, I ain’t taking that bet.”_

_“Hey, it could be someone else, I know Penny’s sweet on him.”_

_“She’s got a point. I’ll put five galleons on Penny.”_

_“You know, I doubt Alex will mind us chattering about him, but, ah, should we really bring his friends into this too? He’s got a wicked temper when it comes to them…”_

_“...good point. Only time I ever saw him really mad with Merula was when she went after his mates.”_

_Penny shook her head as she walked on by the gossiping crowd, trying to keep her face blank so as to not draw any attention. It seemed that Alex had once again fallen into Hogwarts’ gossip mill, but this time it seemed to be much more serious. Alex...Alex had a crush on someone. Alex, her crush, had a crush on someone, and no one knew who it was. This was something she had to look into, had to know about, but to do that, she had to find Alex. The rumor mills were helpful for getting a general idea, but specifics or actual facts were a rarer commodity._

_After all, there had also been rumors he was a vampire after the ball just because his outfit had been ‘super vampire like’, or that Andre’s was actually the descendent of a legendary fashion icon, or that Penny had set up the Celestial Ball all by herself, somehow._

_As she was walking through the halls of Hogwarts, Penny was surprised to see none other than Talbott Winger walking her way, an odd look on his face as if he was both determined and uncertain at the same time. It was certainly strange for the normally serious young man, and Penny paused, wondering what her friend from the Ravenclaw house might have to say._

_“Penny. I would like to speak with you.” Talbott informed her, voice as steady and calm as ever despite his apparent reservations. She blinked, wondering what this could be about, before nodding._

_“Oh, of course, Talbott. What do you want to talk about?” Penny asked, tilting her head just a bit to help express her curiosity. The animagus chuckled at the sight, and Penny smiled at having gotten a laugh out of him, but then his face became serious and she gave him his full intention._

_“I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors about Alex and his crush going around Hogwarts.”_

_Penny nodded, this time feeling a little confused. Well of course she had. She was pretty sure even the ghosts and portraits of Hogwarts knew that by now. Talbott sighed._

_“Alex is, of course, rather unamused by all the attention, and has sought out places to hide. As I am his friend, I shared with him some of my hiding spots, after a brief moment of confrontation.” Talbott continued, and now Penny was definitely confused._

_“Confrontation?” She asked. He smiled, but looked just a touch embarrassed._

_“I told him the courtyard was my ‘turf’. He was not impressed, and informed me that I would, to quote him, ‘just have to deal with it, Feathers, this place ain’t yours.’ I informed him immediately after that I was just joking with him, and he just rolled his eyes at me and told me I needed to work on my sense of humor. As if he has any room to talk with his puns.”_

_And that did bring a giggle out of Penny, both Alex’s blunt responses and that even Talbott thought the young man’s puns were terrible. Which, they were. She loved him, but they were. Rowan was constantly begging him for a nickname besides ‘Row Boat’ or the more affectionate ‘Browan’, but Alex never budged, perhaps because Rowan was begging him to. The smile he wore seemed to indicate that at least._

_“That all sounds really funny, but why are you telling me this, Talbott?” she asked him, her earlier confusion returning to her. The animagus let out a sigh, and he looked at her seriously._

_“One of my hiding spots is the courtyard, but it’s not the only one. There’s also the artefact room, and if I’m guessing right, that’s where he’ll head after the courtyard starts to fill up. You might have a chance to speak with him alone if you meet him there.” Talbott said, and Penny’s eyes went wide, her heart starting to beat a little faster. This was exactly what she’d been hoping for!_

_“Oh, thank you for telling me, Talbott! I’ll head over there right now!” Penny was beaming, a bright smile on her face, but when she went to leave, Talbott gently grabbed her by her arm. She turned, a look of startled confusion on her face, as he stared at her with an even more serious gaze than before._

_“Penny...are you sure you want to do this? You might not like what you hear…” Talbott asked her, his voice filled with concern. Penny’s brow furrowed, and with a touch of hesitation she asked:_

_“Is...is he in a foul mood?” Judging by what Talbott said about their ‘confrontation’, it didn’t sound like it, but an angry Alex was not someone you wanted to be on the wrong side of. Only Merula had the courage, or perhaps the anger, to stand before him like that, and it usually led to screaming matches that even they didn’t seem to enjoy._

_Fortunately, Talbott shook his head, and Penny let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t like she was truly afraid of him or his temper, but she doubted he would be willing to answer any of her questions in a mood like that, and she...she didn’t want to see him glare at her._

_“He’s not angry, simply annoyed. I’m sure he’d be happy to speak with you, even if he might be exasperated if you poke him about his crush as well.” Talbott gazed directly into her eyes now, and Penny found she couldn’t look away. “What I meant was, his crush might be on someone else. It might even be on…”_

_‘Merula,’ Penny finished in her head, closing her eyes. It was...possible, she supposed. Before the ball, she would have laughed at the idea, and even now with the way the two bickered it seemed unlikely. But she had thought that before, and been wrong then too. So who was to say that the odds were really so poor? But she didn’t know for sure whether it was the case or not, and so she looked back up, eyes opening into a firm stare filled with determination._

_“Maybe you’re right. But I won’t know until I try. And I have to try, Talbott.” He looked at her, staring deep into her eyes as if he was looking for something, and he seemed to find it as he nodded and let go of her._

_“Then I wish you luck, my friend. I hope that you find the answers you seek.” Talbott said, and there was a small, perhaps slightly sad smile on his face. She returned the smile as best she could, and then left._

_‘Ready or not, Alex, here I come!’_

* * *

She should have listened to Talbott. She should have listened. But she didn’t.

* * *

_“I’m glad to have found you, Alex!” Was what she said when she found him in the artefact room. He almost jumped at the sound of her voice, and wheeled around to look at her with a gaze full of surprise._

_“What the- Sugar Spice? That you? How did you find me here?!” Alex asked her, his voice filled with surprise and disbelief. Penny let out a giggle at the nickname he’d given her during their first year, since according to him she was ‘so sweet, like sugar, spice, and everything nice’. It was a cute nickname, and one she adored._

_“Talbott told me you had been hiding out in the courtyard, having your lunch alone.” She told him, and his jaw seemed to drop a bit more. Continuing, she said, “But by the time I got there, you were gone.”_

_Alex stared at her for a few moments more, then let out a groan, palming his face as he sat down on the barrel behind him._

_“Damn it, Feathers, what’s the good of telling me your hiding spots if you’re only going to tell people I’m in there?” He dragged his hand down his face, then looked at her, a smirk forming on his face as he gave her a look that was part-amusement, part-resignation. “Well Sugar Spice, you’ve got me all to yourself. What do you want to talk about?”_

_Ignoring the part about having him all to herself as best she could, she asked him the first thing on her mind._

_“So, are you having a second lunch?” He stared at her for a moment, then laughed, as if surprised that was what she wanted to ask him. And it wasn’t, not really, but his guard was a bit up and she wanted to calm him down, first._

_“Nope,” Alex replied, the p coming out as a pop as he shook his head, “Same one. With all the gossip going around, I’ve had no appetite. At this point, I’m just carrying it around so I’ll have something. Almost like a security blanket, as sad as that is.” He leaned back on the barrel, turning his gaze towards the ceiling._

_“Then I suppose asking your crush out on a lunch date wouldn’t be a good idea.” She thought out loud, bringing her hand to her chin in thought. She heard a crashing sound, and turned her startled gaze to where Alex had sat just a second ago. He’d fallen off the barrel, and was now looking at her with almost comical horror and disbelief._

_“Aw damn it, not you too, Sugar Spice! Why is everyone so bloody interested in my crush?!” He cried out in despair, bringing his hands to his face as if covering his eyes would make all his problems go away. And Penny might have giggled at the sight, earning her a half-hearted glare through his parted fingers. “Besides, a lunch date? With my crush? Seriously?”_

_“I heard about what happened this morning in Snape’s class,” she told him, “And I’m sorry that he read your note out loud in class, but better to make the most of it, right?” This earned her a sigh, and a look as if Alex wished to be anywhere but here. Which, he probably did at this point._

_“I’m reluctant to ask, but how do you mean?” When she smiled brightly back at him, she saw his gaze turned towards the door, as if he was considering bolting and saving himself the trouble._

_“Let me tell you, I have just the pep talk to get you out of hiding…” Hands on her hips, she smiled triumphantly at him, as if she were a wise and well-learned teacher, and him a reluctant but brilliant student. In response, Alex closed his eyes, and brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose._

_“I was afraid you were going to say something like that. Maybe there’s a cursed artefact in here somewhere that will give me the sweet release of death...”_

* * *

_Despite Alex’s reluctance, she did indeed give that peptalk, and as it went on, Penny saw his face slowly start to brighten. By the time they were finished, he was shaking his head in amazement, looking at her with a strange mix of incredulity and awe._

_“Well I’ll be. I can’t believe you actually managed to put a positive spin on all that and even get me cheered up. You really are one of a kind, aren’t you, Sugar Spice?” Alex said, a small but genuine smile on her face, and Penny couldn’t help but beam back at him. “Thank you.”_

_“It’s the least I could do, Alex! I really do hope this gets you out of hiding and out on a date.” And if Penny kept the additional thought of, ‘Hopefully out on a date with me’ to herself, well, that was her business now wasn’t it?_

_“Well, I suppose I had to come out of hiding eventually...especially if I ever want to ask my crush out.” Alex’s smile fell, and he let out another sigh, bringing his hands to his hips and shaking his head. “But out on a date? I’ve never actually been on a date before.” Then he paused and pointed a finger at her. “And the Celestial Ball doesn’t count, that was a Hogwarts event. We were all in it together.”_

_Penny, of course, had absolutely no intention of acknowledging the Celestial Ball as a date, so he really didn’t need to try and ward her off of that subject._

_“If I invite my crush out on a date with me… What if she says no? What, what do I do then?” Alex asked her, and for the first time in a long time, she heard a hint of nervousness, of doubt, perhaps even of fear. He had faced down dark wizards, curses, and monsters, but it seemed that even Alex was afraid of rejection from the one he desired. And for that, Penny felt a swell of sympathy for him._

_“But what if she says yes? It could be wonderful! At least think about it, Alex.” Penny told him, even as she felt that familiar fear of the ‘she’ in question being someone other than her. Of being a certain someone other than her._

_“Alright. Alright, fine, I’ll think about it.” Alex sounded reluctant again, but he still agreed, so now all that was left to do was get him out of hiding._

_“Brilliant! Now let’s get you out of hiding and get some fresh air...Courtyard?” That earned her a smile, and Penny’s heart felt just a bit lighter._

_“Good idea. That lunch is starting to smell dreadful.” Just before they left, however, Penny paused, and turned to him, a question that had been on her mind for some time now now having a chance to be answered._

_“What are you eating anyway?” She asked him, and he paused, before a mischievous look came to his face. He grinned, and simply said:_

_“MLT.”_

_“...MLT?”_

_“Mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that.”_

_She gave him an odd look, and after a moment of staring at her, he palmed his face._

_“Sugar Spice, one of these days you and I have got to find a way to see The Princess Bride together. I’m sure you’d adore it.”_

* * *

_After that, the two of them left the artefact room, moving towards the courtyard and along the way once again being subject to the whispers of the Hogwarts rumor mill in all its glory, at least for a moment before Alex turned and gave them the evil eye. Then, the hall turned quiet, and the students looked anywhere but at them. It was actually rather nice to just walk in peace and quiet without having to hear what everyone was chattering on about._

_And speaking of rather nice, there was a rather pleasant surprise to be found in the courtyard in that there were far less people than had been there just an hour before. It was the perfect opportunity to ask Alex about who exactly his crush might be, now that he seemed more willing to talk with her, at least. But how would she go about asking him? She needed to do it in a way that wouldn’t make him close up again, or worse, get annoyed at her for asking._

_But the words Penny might have said got caught in her throat, as out of the corner of her eye she spotted the very last person she wanted to see, here and now and with her wanting to ask Alex about his crush._

_The two Slytherin girls didn’t bother her too much, though she was sure they would add to the gossip if they overheard them, but Merula Snyde, who those two girls were paying rapt attention to? That was a different story._

_And to make things worse, Penny saw Merula spot them. Saw the words die on her lips as her eyes went wide, saw those same eyes narrow as she tried to understand what she was seeing, only for a scowl to form as she seemed to realize what was going on, while her new minions simply looked confused._

_Penny, seeing this, most certainly did not stick her tongue out at her rival. Merula’s growl and Alex’s look of confusion were both totally undeserved._

_“Now isn’t this better than hiding in the artefact room with an...MLT?”_

_“Sugar Spice, that was a joke. It was just an ordinary BLT. But yeah, it’s...nice.”_

_Even as she spoke to Alex, Penny kept an eye on Merula, watching out for whatever trick or plot the other girl might come up with. But it seemed like all she was doing was glaring, until suddenly a lightbulb seemed to go off. A devious smile came to her face as she whispered something to her followers, and then, they started to...laugh?_

_Penny felt confused. Of all the things she was expecting, the Slytherin trio laughing was not one of them. Were they trying to embarrass her? If so, that hadn’t worked in years, and perhaps the blonde Hufflepuff didn’t have anything to worry about after all. Such were her thoughts when she turned back to Alex, and saw his gaze on Merula._

_‘Oh,’ She thought, her eyes going wide. ‘Oh, of course Alex would hone in on Merula laughing, especially if he thought it was at him. Merula’s part of the reason the rumors are so widespread in the first place.’ She racked her brain for something, anything that would keep Alex from going over to confront Merula. She could already see a growl forming on his lips, his eyes narrowing, and she didn’t even need to look at Merula to see the smirk growing on her face._

_“Don’t pay any attention to them, Alex…” Penny didn’t exactly beg, but her request might have had a bit of desperation in it. Alex’s eyes turned to her, and for a moment Penny thought he might just listen to her. But then, he shook his head, and those hopes were dashed._

_“I’ll see you later, Sugar Spice. This is something I have to deal with.” Alex spoke in a voice that brokered no argument, and as much as Penny wanted to say something to convince him otherwise, she knew she would never be able to convince him when he was in a mood like this. Instead, all she could offer was…_

_“Good luck.”_

_And then he was walking off. And as he did, Penny could swear she saw Merula sticking her tongue out at her, and for once the popular witch indulged in the dark thought that bubbled up in her head: ‘Bitch.’ Moving over, she sat down by the fountain, and watched as Alex moved towards Merula. If this was going to happen, she would at least get to know what was happening._

_“Someone seems in a good mood. Having a laugh at my expense, Firebrand?” Alex asked, his voice cheery and light even as he called the Slytherin girl out. “You know, it’s funny. Ever since I got caught with that note in Snape’s class about someone I fancy, seems like everyone in the school knows about it. Wonder how that happened, huh?” Rather than look annoyed at the accusation, all Merula did was smirk, as if he was something amusing._

_“Actually, we were having a laugh at how stiff Penny’s braids are. It would take a strong wind to muss them.” Merula responded, even though Penny knew damn well that hadn’t been what the laughter was about at all. One of the other fourth-year Slytherin girls spoke up as well, complaining about how perfect her braids were. Okay, she mentally admitted, that might have been why those two were laughing, but not Merula._

_“Really now?” Alex deadpanned, sounding somewhat less than convinced._

_“But it is rather funny that you think everyone is obsessed with you and your awkward moments, Ambrosius.” Merula laughed, and the satisfied smile she sent Alex’s way read loud and clear to Penny that she knew she had the boy now. “I suppose we can add to the list this moment right now.”_

_“I’m touched to hear you keep a list of what I do. I’m somewhat less touched to hear you making fun of my friend.” Alex shot back, a trace of annoyance in his voice now, and rather than back off, Merula leaned in closer, that infuriating grin still on her face._

_“You’re cross about that now, too? You really should stop being so protective of your little friends, Ambrosius, they’re big kids. They can take care of themselves…” The brunette looked far too satisfied in Penny’s opinion, and the fact that she knew that Alex would take this as a challenge and thus refuse to back off just made it worse. True to form, rather than back off, Alex simply growled at the Slytherin girls besides Merula, who seemed far less interested in staying around an irritated Alex._

_“You two mind giving Merula and I a moment?” Alex ‘asked’, and was met with nods as the two fourth-years beat a hasty retreat. Merula, of course, did not move a muscle, staying right where she was. Turning to her, Alex sighed, and though she couldn’t see his face, Penny imagined he was giving his rival a half-hearted glare. “You really don’t make things easy, do you, Firebrand?”_

_“What, did you think you’d just walk over here and get the better of me? I at least respect you for trying.” Merula returned, only to lean in, that smirk from before growing just a bit. “But if you choose to face off with Merula Snyde, know that it could go either way.”_

_“...did, did you just refer to yourself in the third person?” Alex’s voice sounded genuinely baffled, and even Merula herself could only respond with a shrug._

_“It felt right.” Then, leaning back, she gave him a curious look, and asked, “While I’ve got you, what is the status of your pathetic crush situation anyway? Since it’s been following you around all day, according to you.”_

_“While I’m sure you’re asking out of concern for my well being,” The red-head drawled, voice thick with sarcasm, “You shouldn’t worry. I just had an excellent talk with Penny, and I might even be thinking about asking out my crush.” At that, it was Alex’s turn to lean in, and Penny would be shocked if he wasn’t smirking at a now stunned Merula._

_“Oh.” Was all the other girl could say, and Penny wouldn’t deny feeling just a bit satisfied at just how surprised Merula was, how the other girl had actually seemed to stumble back. And, if her eyes weren’t deceiving her, was that some concern on the brunette’s face?_

_“My my, is that a surprise for you?” Alex’s voice sounded much more smug now._

_“It...interests me. Now let me tell you why asking out your crush would be a terrible idea…” Merula’s voice sounded far less confident now, and there was definitely a note of nervousness in it now. Penny found herself paying rapt attention to where this might be going. Might this be what she was hoping for after all?_

_“Oho, really now? How terrible?” Alex stood straight, arms crossing across his chest, looking down at Merula with what was no doubt a very smug look indeed. Merula crossed her arms across her own chest, glaring at the boy like she thought it would be enough to convince him by itself._

_“You could mess it up and embarrass yourself.”_

_“Or I could pull it off and have a nice date.”_

_“She might already be with someone!”_

_“Pretty sure she isn’t.”_

_“S-she could be using you to make herself look good.”_

_“Trust me, she looks pretty good by herself.”_

_“Bah! You are impossible!” Merula snapped at him, and if Penny knew Alex, she could bet he was leaning in with a big grin at his next words._

_“Impossibly handsome?” And that managed to get a small blush out of the Slytherin girl, before she went right back to glaring at the Gryffindor boy._

_“More like impossibly ridiculous! You…” She took a moment to take in a breath through clenched teeth, and simply gave Alex the evil eye. “Now I suppose Penny Haywood painted for you a dream date scenario.”_

_‘Hey!’, Penny thought, ignoring that it was mostly accurate._

_“Well, it was certainly different from your doomed date scenario.” Alex agreed._

_“Penny is the most popular witch at school. Things tend to go her way.” Merula said with a roll of her eyes, and if looks could kill, Penny’s glare would be comparable to the Killing Curse. “I’m the most powerful witch at school. My expectations are more realistic!” Then, she grew quiet, and gave Alex a look even Penny couldn’t quite place. “Which do you put more stock in, power or popularity?” Oh. Oh, it was like that, was it…_

_Alex seemed taken aback by the question, but his response came soon enough. “I’d rather be powerful than popular, I guess. I’d be fine being the most unpopular person on the planet if it meant I had the power to protect those I care about. And popularity is fickle, anyways.” Merula noticeably perked up at that._

_“So you’ll go with my suggestion and not ask out your crush?” And there was definitely some excitement in the Slytherin girl’s voice now, and Penny groaned. All that hard work…_

_“Hang on. If you think it will go so badly, why are you trying to get me not to do it instead of letting me embarrass myself?” Alex asked, sounding more than a little confused, and Merula blinked, backing off just a bit._

_“I can get a lot of mileage out of what happened to you today…I’d prefer for you to pace out your embarrassments.” Merula responded, playing the part of someone who didn’t actually care rather well, despite how obviously interested she was. Alex said nothing for a moment, and then…_

_“Wait a minute. Are you...jealous?” The glee in Alex’s voice was clear to anyone who could hear him, and it was certainly obvious to Merula, who recoiled as if she had been burned, sputtering out denials and castigations._

_“W-what? Me? Jealous of...whoever has the misfortune of being your crush? Don’t be ridiculous! The only thing I’d feel for such a girl is, is...pity! Yes, pity!” Merula snapped, and she couldn’t have been less believable if she tried._

_“Hey hey, I don’t blame you for being jealous, Firebrand. After all, this is a really pretty girl we’re talking about, not to mention smart, ambitious, capable…” Alex sounded consoling, but Penny could hear the barely repressed snickers. Merula, evidently, did too, and her glare doubled, her whole body seeming to tremble with rage._

_“Oh really now, is she?” She bit out, and Alex’s smile just grew bigger._

_“Oh yes. And she looks really great in a dress, too.” Merula’s expression paled, and she looked both outraged and horrified. Penny for her part felt a swell of hope starting within her. Could it be that Alex’s crush wasn’t Merula after all?_

_“Y-you’ve seen her in a dress?”_

_“And she looked beautiful in it, too! Not to mention she has a gorgeous smile, the kind I can’t stop thinking about, the kind that changes your whole way of thinking.” And now, rather than mocking, Alex sounded wistful. Happy. As if remembering a fond memory. And if anything, that seemed to sting Merula more, who was now starting to look really upset. Penny felt her breath stop. Could it be, could it really be…?_

_“She’s that great, huh?” Merula spat out, glaring at Alex with all she had. A chuckle escaped him, the deep kind that so rarely left him but made an impact whenever it did. He leaned in towards Merula, a teasing grin on his face, and spoke once again._

_“And, on top of all of that? She’s the most powerful witch at Hogwarts.”_

_Oh. Oh…_

_Merula looked like she was about to explode, her wand clutched so hard in her hand Penny thought it might break, clearly not understanding what Alex meant. A shuddering breath left her, and before Penny could move to leave, before Merula could hex Alex harder than he’d ever been hexed before, he spoke again, and if she were in a better state of mind, she might have warned him that he was about to say something he would regret later._

_“Yes indeed, beyond a doubt, she’s my lovely Songbird-” Alex froze._

_Merula froze._

_Penny froze._

_No one said anything. No one spoke. Merula’s look of rage faded into one of confusion, surprise, and dawning realization, while the way Alex was standing read loud and clear that he had just realized what he had said and was regretting it with every fiber of his being. Penny could almost hear the thoughts of, ‘Aw shite’, running through his head._

_But Penny was not interested in hearing anything more. She stood up from her seat and started to move, leaving the courtyard. Behind her, because of course she couldn’t leave without hearing more of this agonizing conversation, came two familiar voices._

_“W-wait, isn’t Songbird your nickname for-”_

_“WELP, got to go, been nice talking to you, Merula, see you later!”_

_“...me?”_

* * *

Penny didn’t very much care for songbirds these days. She knew that was unfair, it was just Alex’s nickname for Merula, not any fault of the actual birds themselves, but she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of resentment. 

Not too much later after this, Tonks and Charlie helped Alex to find a spot for the date he wanted to take Merula out on, and Alex himself found the courage to ask Merula out on that date. The Slytherin girl had apparently been both shocked and overjoyed, having still been unable to believe he would actually ask her out as his crush. From what she overheard later from conversation between Professor McGonagall and an exasperated Pince, who had overheard the two talking through the books even when she had ordered them to shelve said books, Merula apparently hadn’t thought it could be her that was Alex’s crush, which is why she had tried to warn him off.

The date itself, while initially going well, had been accidentally spoiled by Tonks, first by her and Charlie coming to spy on the date, much to the annoyance of both, and then by her accidentally knocking over a large pile of teacups, creating a mess that resulted in an early end to the date. Even Alex had seemed angry about it, and Merula had outright snapped at Tonks for what she’d done.

That night, when the other Hufflepuff girl came to their dorm, her head had been hung, and she seemed terribly ashamed of what had happened.

* * *

_“I-I didn’t mean to, Penny. It was an accident, but it spoiled the whole date, for both of them.” For once, the normally shameless girl sounded so guilty that Penny couldn’t help but reach out to give her a hug. Tears fell down onto her uniform, and she held her friend a little tighter._

_“It was cute, really cute. Both of them seemed so adorably awkward around each other, trying to think of something to say. Alex started flirting with Merula, and she actually giggled when he called her the ‘Best Singer At Hogwarts.’ Merula giggled! She looked so embarrassed about it too, especially when Alex teased her…”_

_For as jealous as Penny couldn’t help but feel, hearing about just how much fun the two had had, how even the ever sour, angry Merula, seemed happy, it was surprisingly touching. It was such a shame that it had been accidentally spoiled, and that doing so had hurt Tonks so much. She wasn’t even calling Alex by her nickname for him!_

_“They were so happy, and I ruined it...Alex couldn’t even look at me, and when Merula left, I could see how hard she was clenching her fists, how hard she was trying to keep Alex from seeing her face. What...what if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore? What if I ruined their chances with each other?” Tonks pulled back to look Penny in the eye, tears streaking down her face, and Penny ignored the dark part of her that hoped Tonks had ruined their chances._

_“Shh, shh, it’s going to be okay, Tonks...Alex might be a little cross for a while, but he’ll forgive you, I promise…”_

* * *

And he had, after a week or so. But that hadn’t been the end of the night...

* * *

_“Alex? What are you doing out this late?” Penny blinked, and sure enough, there was Alex, still in the fancy outfit he had apparently worn to his date with Merula. He seemed just as surprised to see her, and visibly winced._

_“Ah...hey, Sugar Spice. I’m just...going to meet someone…” Alex hesitantly responded, and Penny had to take a deep breath to keep herself from saying something horrible._

_“Is it Merula?” She asked in a quiet voice, and after a few moments, he nodded. Her hands clenched, and she couldn’t look at him._

_“Tonks...Tonks told me about what happened today. What she accidentally did.” Alex blew out a puff of air, looking towards the heavens while shaking his head._

_“I don’t want to think about Imp right now. She’s wonderful, and still my friend, but I’m angry right now, and I don’t want to say anything to you or her that I’ll regret. I’ll talk with her later after I’ve cooled down.” His expression softened just a bit, and he shook his head. “She doesn’t deserve me yelling at her, after all the help she’s given me.”_

_“Is that...is that why you’re meeting with Merula tonight?” She asked, her words nearly coming out in a stutter, and once again Alex seemed surprised, before slowly nodding, looking at her with concern in his eyes. She hated it. She didn’t want his looks of concern, she wanted the looks he saved for Merula, the looks of pure affection and desire._

_“...yes. I couldn’t simply leave it hanging, you know? Hagrid told me the same thing. And besides, who knows?” Alex tried for a smile, “Maybe Merula is just as worried about it.”_

_‘She is,’ Penny thought. ‘She might be even more worried about it.’_

_“Besides, I really do like her. And if I want any chances of salvaging this...I need to act.” Now, his expression was determined, passionate, and while normally it would have made him attractive, tonight it sickened her, because it was aimed at someone who didn’t deserve it. “So I have to go and meet with her.”_

_“Why?” Someone asked, and Penny realized it had been her. Alex was giving her a look of stunned disbelief, but Penny pushed on. “Maybe what happened today was a sign it wasn’t meant to be, maybe tonight she’ll just throw your apology in your face. What if she doesn’t want anything to do with you?”_

_For a moment, Alex stared at her, visibly shocked, before his expression changed to something softer._

_“But what if she does?” He whispered, and Penny hurt. She hurt because she knew who he was quoting, and that made it so much more painful. He reached a hand out, but she backed away, refusing to let him touch her. That made him look sad, but it didn’t deter him. “You don’t think I know Merula is difficult? Of course she is. But the best things in life always are. My old man used to say the best things in life are worth fighting for, it’s how he maintained his marriage with my mum even after what happened to Jacob. He was willing to fight for it. And while he eventually passed away, he did so with my mum by his side, still just as much his wife, just as much as in love with him as she had been the day they were married.”_

_Alex’s dad had passed away? She hadn’t known that before. Penny didn’t know what to say, and that seemed to be just fine with Alex, who continued in that same soft voice._

_“The best things in life are worth fighting for. Friends, family, lovers...and whether Merula and I are just friends or become something more, I want to fight for that.” He gave her a smile that was just as warm, soft, and kind as the one he’d given her when they first became friends, and despite herself Penny felt her heart flutter. “No matter what happens...I won’t stop fighting for my Firebrand, for my Songbird. And maybe, one day...you two can be friends, too.”_

* * *

Sometimes, she could understand why Merula found him so infuriating. And so wonderful.


	3. Valentines, Festivals, and Visits, Oh My!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell if I gave Penny too much focus here or not enough. She's generally not super involved with these particular events, only appearing enough for you to see her as a choice, have a little scene with her, and then if she's your date, she gets scenes as appropriate. But if you pick someone like, say, Merula, her involvement is a lot smaller compared to the other date events. But she's the featured character of this story, so she gets a little more than she normally would.

It was probably no surprise that word of the date spread throughout the school like fiendfyre. Everyone was talking about it, how Alex’s crush had turned out to be Merula, and how when he asked her out on a date, she had said yes. The rumor mill had even managed to stumble upon the secret nighttime rendezvous the two had that same night, though the details about it varied by the telling. The only thing everyone could agree on was that it had happened, otherwise why else would the two be so chipper after the disaster that had happened on their first date?

All of a sudden, Alex and Merula became a hot couple, something everyone wanted to talk about. While before the fourth year, many could agree there was something more between the two of them, it was not until after that many saw them as a proper romance, and in the gossip obsessed school of Hogwarts, romance was something everyone was interested in.

By their fifth year, everyone had their eyes on the two. When the two squabbled or argued, someone in the crowd might shout out, “Just kiss already”, turning them into blushing, stuttering messes. When Alex flirted with Merula or called her ‘Songbird’, there would be whistles and cheers. And when Merula responded, covering up a sweet, loving act with her usual bravado and faked contempt, there would be cooing or laughter.

Bets were no longer made on if they would get together properly, but when.

And that talk had only grown after Valentine’s Day. It had to, after the Potions Class of that day, where Alex had teasingly informed Merula that he thought Amortentia, a love potion that smelled like what most appealed to the one it affected, would smell like her. Merula’s flattered, happy response only threw further fuel on the fire. It was also the day where she began to realize her feelings for Alex would never be returned.

The first clue had been during Herbology Class, before that Potions Class, when Mistletoe had been brought up by Diego. The plant was well known for being part of a Christmas tradition where two people gathered under it would kiss, and Penny couldn’t deny a feeling of excitement. Even then, her feelings like Alex had taken a hit after hearing what he had to say about Merula that night, about how he had no intentions of giving up on her no matter what. But a part of her still held hope, remembering how he’d mentioned he would have been satisfied with friendship with his precious Songbird…

* * *

_“Mistletoe? Is there going to be kissing in Herbology class?!” Had been Penny’s excited exclamation, and it had brought laughter to more than a few students, including Alex. She turned towards him with a shy smile, and said, “I can think of someone in this class who I’d like to kiss…”_

_But rather than respond how she hoped, with a blush or a wink or a charming smile or, even better, a kiss, Alex had instead looked...awkward. He laughed again, but this time it was a bit more hesitant, and he couldn’t quite meet her eye. And that, that had hurt just a bit. She knew he was focused on Merula, but surely he must find her somewhat attractive. Was the thought of kissing her really that bad…?_

* * *

Months later, Penny had come to accept that perhaps she had been a bit out of line. Alex and Merula weren’t dating, or at least, they weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, yet, but they very clearly fancied each other, and her expressing a desire to kiss him had probably made him feel awkward. But at the time, it had been a blow to her heart, and for the first time, she had wondered if perhaps she really didn’t have a chance with Alex, if perhaps she should have listened to Tonks’ advice after the ball. Finding out about the Potions Class incident had only deepend those cracks. 

But it had been later on, after they’d been recruited by Gilderoy Lockhart to help set up a Valentine’s Day Party to celebrate and launch his new book, that she had seen the clearest signs. She had been planning a surprise for the event, and Lockhart somehow found out about it. He had then sent Alex to investigate, meeting her in the artefact room, the same place they had talked about his crush in the year before.

* * *

_“Yo, Sugar Spice! What’s going on? Lockhart said he thinks you’ve been planning a surprise for Voyages, Vampires, and Valentines.” Alex’s smile was bright, and there was a bit of mischief in his eyes. “And you didn’t tell me? For shame, for shame!” Penny giggled at her friend’s dramatics, acting as if he had suffered some great betrayal._

_“Clever wizard! I am! How do you think Mr. Lockhart knew?” That got her a shrug, Alex looking just as clueless as she was, though not quite bothered by such a thing._

_“Well, he’s supposed to be this powerful wizard, yeah? Makes sense he would suss it out.” Then, in a curious voice, he asked, “So what’s the surprise, anyway? Some kind of potion, a spell maybe?”_

_“It’s an Entrancing Enchantment… just like Professor Flitwick taught us about in our Valentine’s Day lesson!” She beamed with pride, her plan sure to be a hit at the party, both with the guests and Mr. Lockhart. And maybe even her fellow party preparers, too. “It’s just meant to be a demonstration, not intended for anyone.” Alex, however, looked rather unsure._

_“Uh, Sugar Spice, I hate to say it, but the Professor just taught us about those charms, not how to actually cast them. You sure it’s a good idea messing with something like that?”_

_“Which is why it’s perfect that you’re here! You can help me try to cast an Entrancing Enchantment!”_

_Somehow, Alex seemed less sure than before._

_After that, the two started to experiment with enchantments, the two working together to try and understand the spell, and how to use it. Alex still didn’t seem too fond of the idea, but he helped as best as he could, yet despite the hours of effort, there didn’t seem to be much of a reward for their time. Penny couldn’t help but feel frustrated. She didn’t want to fail, she wanted to impress Lockhart and her fellow students, to impress Alex._

_Then, she did something stupid. Something she would come to regret._

_Alex’s back was turned, still looking for something in the artefact room that might help them. And an idea came to her mind. Raising her want, she pointed at Alex’s back, and decided to try and cast her spell._

_“Cupio Mihi!” The biggest problem with trying to cast the spell without actually knowing the chant was that you had to guess it, but they had come up with nothing else so far, and something was better than nothing. Alex wheeled around, emerald eyes wide, falling on her wand. Her wand that had been pointing at him. Her wand that had shown no reaction other than a few pink sparks._

_“Whoa, Sugar Spice, careful where you point your wand! If you had cast an Entrancing Enchantment right now, it would have hit me.” He let out a sigh of relief, giving her wand a look as if it was a snake about to bite him. Penny, for her part, simply felt disappointed it hadn’t worked...and also a little surprised by how upset Alex was about the idea of such a spell hitting him._

_“Would that have been so bad?” She asked him, and immediately regretted it when he recoiled from her, eyes wide and disbelieving. His mouth hung open, his body tensed up, and he looked at her as if he’d never seen her before._

_“Sugar Spice...Penny...what did you just say…?” Alex stuttered out, and his voice was filled with both horror and shock. Penny swallowed, and her response was in a meek, quiet voice._

_“I...I said, would that have been so bad? If I had cast the spell on you?” She met his eyes, but only just. They stared at one another in silence for a few moments, and then Penny, for the first time since she’d met him, got to see Alexander Ambrosius angry, truly angry...at her._

_“Are you, are you kidding me? Of course it would have been that bloody bad!” Alex exploded, there was no other word of it, and Penny shrunk back, her eyes wide. “Professor Flitwick himself said that charms and potions can only manufacture love, not bring out true love! If you had cast that spell on me, even accidentally, it would have messed with my mind, forcing me to fall in love with you! Would that have been so...if some Slytherin jerk had made you fall in love with him with that spell, would that have been so bad?!”_

_Penny shook her head rapidly, eyes wide. “O-of course! But, but it’s not the same, we know each other-”_

_“Damn it, Penny, that doesn’t matter!” Alex shouted, and Penny’s breath caught. Hearing him switch to using her name rather than the nickname he’d given her was almost as much of a shock as his anger. Even when he was mad with his friends, he still used their nicknames. So why had he stopped with her? Before she could process this, he grabbed her by her shoulders._

_“It doesn’t matter that we know each other, that still would have been a violation of my mind, of who I am!” His eyes bored deep into her own, and it was a surprisingly unpleasant feeling. “You don’t do that to people, especially your friends, especially your friends who have their backs turned to you, I…” Alex let her go then, and she could see just how red his face was. She’d only ever seen him this angry in one of his screaming matches with Merula, but never had his temper been turned towards her before._

_She took in a shuddering breath, and looked away from his face. Alex turned, but he didn’t show her his back, and that hurt. She hadn’t meant it like that. Hadn’t meant to damage their relationship like that, and certainly hadn’t meant to twist his mind or heart. She hadn’t been thinking, and it might have cost her dearly. Finally, he spoke again, and it was a sad, soft thing._

_“Penny, I...I don’t know what to say. You’re a good person, a smart person, I know you wouldn’t have done something like that out of malice. I want to believe that you just didn’t understand what you were doing, but…” Penny looked up, and met his eyes as he turned towards her. Those beautiful green eyes she loved so much looked so much dimmer now. “Please, please don’t ever do that again. You’re one of my best friends, you have been for years...” She nodded, a sharp bob of her head, and he in return gave a short nod of acknowledgement. He paused, then asked, in a quiet voice._

_“So far, all of our fellow party assemblers except you and Merula have asked me out on a Valentine’s Day date. Penny, I need you to be honest with me. Is that what you were planning to do? Use that spell on me and then ask me out?” She shook her head, and he visibly sagged in relief._

_“I was planning to ask you, but...not like that. I want my Valentine’s Day date to be for true love.” She whispered. “Do you believe in the power of true love, Alex?”_

_He turned to her, with a look in his eyes that she knew only his Songbird could bring out._

_“Yes.”_

* * *

She couldn’t quite remember what happened after that. Apparently, Mr. Lockhart had wiped their memories because Alex and Merula and Talbott had stumbled upon something he’d wanted hidden, but he hadn’t wiped them all the way. Yet, some part of her felt certain that out of the corner of her eye, she had seen Alex and Merula together. And that night, an owl had supposedly arrived from Professor Sprout to ask Alex to come to the Greenhouse. Coincidentally, from what she’d heard from the girls of Slytherin house, Merula had been gone about the same time Alex had, also to the Greenhouse.

So it was fairly obvious what had happened, there.

After that day, the feelings she’d held for Alex since they were eleven had slowly started to fade. It wasn’t that he wasn’t handsome or charming or kind or wonderful anymore, or that they were no longer friends, though things had been a bit awkward between them for a while after that day. She simply had to admit that he wasn’t hers, and probably never would be. Despite her best efforts, she hadn’t been able to put them out entirely. Even now, the thought of Alex still made her heart flutter, still made her heart hurt. But they weren’t as strong as they had once been. Otherwise, all this remembering would have been much too painful for her to stand. Especially after today.

The celebration of magic was a beautiful thing. Even Professor Snape had seemed, if not quite in a good mode, at least not quite as cold as he usually was. Everything about it had been special, from the classes to the festival even to the competition, which she had ultimately lost. But the sheer energy and excitement of it, the struggle and the effort, had made it special nonetheless.

It had also been her last attempt to win Alex’s heart, and one even she didn’t think would be successful. She hoped to impress him as festival ambassador, but there was another way.

The path of a secret admirer wasn’t one that was unfamiliar to her. She had been his secret admirer since their first year, always hoping he would notice her and ask her to be his. And perhaps that had been her failing, her lack of proactivity until it was too late. But if there was even the slightest chance, the smallest hope, she had to take it.

The fact that she was, once again, competing with one Merula Snyde in both the contest for the festival ambassadorship and Alex’s heart didn’t even surprise her at this point.

* * *

_“Haywood.” Merula acknowledged her with a nod, her gaze surprisingly non-hostile for the normally ill-tempered girl. She had been calmer and nicer, at least for her, this year, so perhaps it wasn’t too much of a surprise._

_“Oh, Merula! It’s nice to see you. I guess you’re running for the position of festival ambassador, too?” Penny asked her, putting on a smile she didn’t feel all the way through._

_Merula must have sensed it somehow, because her previous apathetic look morphed into one of irritation, and she sent a look of annoyance the blonde’s way. Then, she closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and turned back to Penny again, this time still looking annoyed but not quite as much._

_“Oh cut the act, Haywood. I know you don’t like me, and I don’t particularly like you. At least tell me to my face what you think about me instead of wearing a fake smile.” Merula scoffed, and then glanced away from her, arms folded across her chest. “I’d prefer honest anger to fake friendship…”_

_Penny worked her jaw for a moment, trying to think of something to say, but, what was there to say? ‘Oh no, Merula, I actually really do like you! I mean, you were a bully and a jerk for most of our time at Hogwarts, you’ve only recently started to improve, and yet somehow you’ve won my best friend and crush’s heart while he can’t even see my obvious infatuation, but that doesn’t mean anything!’_

_And some part of her did like the Slytherin girl, at least a little more than she had before. Because Merula was improving, and she really did seem to care about Alex, and to a certain extent she could even understand the brunette’s previous cruelty and anger._

_But Penny could not honestly say that she really liked the other girl. Not with all the resentment and envy inside of her. So instead she sighed._

_“I suppose that’s fair. In that case...may the best of us win?” It was all she could offer, and when Merula turned to face her again, there was less irritation in her expression, and Penny could swear she saw her rival’s lip twitch upwards. How strange, that the witch who once responded to any competition with hostility would almost smile at such a remark._

_“Well, I intend to,” Merula responded back, but there was less of a sneer in the remark then there would have been in their first year, and for a moment Penny could have sworn she heard a hint of playfulness in her tone instead. She blinked, and was about to say something, when a student came rushing in all of a sudden, startling them both._

_“The initial votes are in!” He shouted, and both girls immediately gave them his attention, curiosity racing through the two of them._

_“Who’s in the lead so far?” Merula asked, a touch of excitement in her voice, and Penny couldn’t really blame her. Not when she was wondering just as much herself. The wizard started to shuffle through the papers in his hands, then blinked in puzzlement._

_“So far, it’s...Alexander Ambrosius?” The student sounded just as confused as they both felt, and despite herself, Penny’s mouth dropped open. What? He wasn’t even in the race, how could he be in the lead?!_

_“What?! Al-Ambrosius isn’t even competing, how could he possibly have the most votes?” Merula sputtered out, her face taking on a bit of a red tinge as she accidentally echoed Penny’s thoughts. She knew Alex was popular, but this was a tad bit absurd. She wondered if he even knew there was a race to win, let alone that he was winning it._

_It was perplexing, and actually a bit annoying that someone, anyone, could gain the lead without actually doing anything._

_Penny and Merula both turned to look at her, both not quite knowing what to say, only for Merula to blink as she seemed to realize something. Her eyes narrowed, and there was some suspicion in her expression now._

_“Wait just a moment. I know there can be two winners for the position of festival ambassador. Did you put his name in so you could win with him?” Now, Merula’s voice held some of the hostility Penny had been expecting earlier, and the Hufflepuff student felt a rush of emotions ranging from shock and disbelief to indignation._

_“Don’t be ridiculous, I would never enter in my friend’s name without his permission!” Penny snapped, for the first time with some actual anger to her tone. That seemed to catch Merula off guard for a moment, but it didn’t take her long to recover, glaring at her._

_“Don’t lie to me! I can’t believe you’d do something so sneaky...well, I won’t have it! God, I can’t believe I thought for a second you’d be honest with me.” Merula snarled out, then turned from her and stomped off. Penny herself was fuming, and she sent a glare out after the Slytherin girl. Now more than ever Penny was determined to win._

_The student from before was hiding behind his papers, looking back and forth between the two angry girls, trying to think of something to say._

_“You know, I’m sure I could just explain it was an accident-eep!” He let out a squeak as Penny turned angry eyes on him, then nervously smiled as he backed away._

* * *

It really had been an accident, as it turned out later. Before, there had been a survey among the student body about who they would pick for the title of festival ambassador, and by accident, one of the results, that being Alexander Ambrosius, had been entered into the actual contest. Penny had been right to be angry about Merula’s accusation, but even she would have believed the other girl’s theory over something so ridiculous.

The student in question that was responsible for the fumble hadn’t dared to show himself around either girl for the rest of the day, and while he hadn’t been upset by having his name thrown in, Alex had apparently been very confused.

* * *

_“Mate, I’m not mad, but how could you possibly mix that up?”_

_“Professor Snape had me doing make up work on potions the night before...”_

_“I swear, I can’t tell if he’s messing with me on accident or if he’s doing it on purpose.”_

* * *

However it had happened, Alex was now part of the contest as well, and somehow winning it at that. Both Merula and Penny were putting their all into winning, and the two campaigned even harder than before. There was one rather peculiar moment where, after Potions Class, Merula had looked a bit nervous, the normally confident girl seeming a bit unsure. Had something happened there that might have hurt her chances in the race?

A part of Penny that she didn’t like thinking about hoped so.

It was later that day, at The Three Broomsticks that things tilted on their head a bit. Both Merula and Penny had used the place as their campaign headquarters, as despite them having little desire to be around each other it was far too popular and full to not be used by them, and neither had any plans of letting their rival have access to it exclusively. The place had been almost split in two between the two girls and their followers, and it was a rather unpleasant surprise to see that Merula apparently had as many supporters as Penny did.

And then Alex had appeared, and Penny felt rather grateful that Merula was busy talking to her supporters, because it let Penny glide over to the red-head as he was making his way towards the table Tonks and Charlie were at. He had apparently spotted her out of the corner of her eye, as he turned to face her before she could even say anything, hand rising in a friendly wave.

* * *

_“G’day, Sugar Spice! How’s it hanging?” Alex said, that familiar warm smile on his face, and combined with him once again using his old nickname for her it made Penny’s heart swell._

_“Alex, you’re here! Does that mean I’ve got your vote to become a festival ambassador?” Penny questioned him hopefully, eyes imploring and expression wondering. Alex blinked, and raised an eyebrow._

_“Yeesh, I expected Firebrand to be competitive,” And wasn’t that funny, that he was using his old nickname for her instead of Songbird? Perhaps that was why Merula had looked nervous. “But I at least expected a ‘I’m doing great, how are you, my bestest friend in all the wizarding world’ from you before I got asked about my vote, Sugar Spice.”_

_“‘Bestest friend in the wizarding world’?” Penny asked him, her eyebrow raised. Alex shrugged._

_“I mean, if you want to say ‘Bestest friend in the whole world’, I’d accept that too.” He responded, and if Penny didn’t know him so well, she’d think he was stalling. Wait just a tick._

_“Are you stalling?” She gave him a suspicious look, and Alex couldn’t quite meet her eye._

_“No, I’m Alex, Alex Ambrosius, nice to meet you, don’t know any Stalling-”_

_“Alex!” Penny interrupted him, and Alex slumped, reaching back to scratch behind his head._

_“I, look, you know I love you, Sugar Spice,” Alex said, and she almost wanted to call him a liar because she knew he only really loved one girl. “But to answer your question… No, I’m afraid not.” And Penny just closed her eyes and nodded. She knew exactly who he was voting for._

_“That’s alright.” She said, and Alex looked up so quickly she briefly worried he might have hurt his neck, looking stunned. She smiled at him. “Vote for whoever you want to, even yourself if that’s what you prefer. I won’t judge you. You’re my friend, after all...Hothead”_

_Alex blinked again, staring at her for a moment, and then grinned, grinned wider than he ever had before._

_“Pfft, Hothead, that’s brilliant! I knew I could get you calling me a nickname one of these days!” He laughed, and Penny laughed with him, feeling her heart grow a little lighter even knowing what she knew now. Even if she didn’t have his vote, she still felt in wonderful spirits. Hearing him laugh like that, seeing him smile, not to mention just how wonderful the celebration of magic was so far, how could she not?_

_“You know, I have to say, you’re in a crazy good mood right now, Sugar Spice! Something good happen?” Alex asked her after their laughing fit ended, and Penny beamed at him._

_“Of course I am! There’s going to be an outdoor festival with dancing at Hogwarts!” Her voice was bright, and even though she was sure it wouldn’t work, she still gave him a small, sincere smile and told him a little bit of how she felt. “And if I had a choice between getting your vote or being your date to that dance, I know which I’d choose…”_

_Alex looked taken aback at that, eyes going wide, and for a moment she thought she saw a small blush on his face. He was looking at her...not strangely or suspiciously or negatively, but as if he was seeing her in a different light. It wasn’t the same light he held for Merula, but even something like this was a win in her book. And speak of the devil, it seemed Merula had finally noticed them, and was looking at them with suspicion. Penny simply shook her head, and smiled at the other girl. Not maliciously or cockily, but maybe with a twinge of pity or sadness._

_Merula had Alex’s heart right in her hands, and yet she still didn’t understand just how much he adored her._

_“I think I hear a Songbird coming. I ought to get back to campaigning. See you later…” Penny told Alex, giving him one last smile, and then turning and walking away. She didn’t even need to look behind her to know that Merula had walked over to speak with Alex, and simply listened in._

_“If you and Penny Haywood are plotting against me…” Was the first thing Merula said to him, with touches of suspicion and anger and jealousy and hurt in her voice, but of course Alex responded with gentleness and warmth despite the accusation._

_“Songbird, I couldn’t plot my way out of a paper bag. And even if I could, I wouldn’t plot against you.” Alex told her, and then, a bit of a teasing lilt entered his voice. “Besides, I already let Tonks and Charlie know you have my vote, so there’s no need to be so suspicious of me.”_

_Merula had apparently been caught off balance by that, because she didn’t say anything for a few moments, then hesitantly asked him:_ _  
_ _“Is that still true?” Penny waited for just a moment for the confirmation from Alex, then smacked her palm onto her face when he instead decided to tease her._

_“I mean, I don’t know, I’m planning on voting for my Songbird, not sure I should tell the Firebrand.” Alex purred out, and for once, just once, Penny absolutely understood how frustrating Merula found Alex and his antics._

_“You drive me mad, Ambrosius.” The brunette snapped at him, then paused for just a moment before speaking in a less aggressive, more hesitant, perhaps softer voice, “I mean, it’s not always in a bad way… You’re not the worst date I’ve ever had. We actually get on well on a date.” And back to cool Merula went._

_“Songbird, I’m pretty sure I’m your only date. But, then again…” And this time it was Alex’s turn to hesitate before speaking, “You’re my only date, too. And I guess it’s when we’re dating that we’re at our best.”_

_Merula was silent for just a moment, and Penny felt tempted to look back and see what kind of face she was making, but she never got the chance._

_“I’ve got to get back to campaigning. Leave me alone.” Merula’s words were like a door slamming shut, and as she heard her rival’s quick but by no means angry footsteps and Alex’s groan, Penny for once absolutely understood how frustrating Alex found Merula and her stubbornness and pride._

* * *

_It was after this that the campaign started to shift. Merula seemed more energetic but actually seemed to care less about winning the vote than she had before her talk with Alex. And Penny herself had been distracted thinking about things. About her feelings for Alex, about Merula’s feelings for Alex, about Alex’s feelings for her and Merula. It was hard to run a campaign when your heart and mind were elsewhere._

_So distracted was she that, rather than use her free time to continue campaigning, Penny did something very different._

_She had heard that Alex’s last class of the day was at the training grounds with Professor Kettleburn and Madam Hooch, and so, she decided to play the last card she could while she still had the chance. She looked around her for a moment, feeling cautious as she took a quill and a piece of parchment and began to write her note. And then stopped, because she realized she didn’t know what she wanted to write. She needed something short and sweet…_

_‘That’s it!’ She thought, grinning ear to ear._

_But just writing a love letter wouldn’t be enough. She wanted something to go with it, something to make the message more meaningful. And if she did it right, she might be able to appeal to Alex’s sense of humor as well, making it even more successful. Some kind of treat or desert would work perfectly!_

_If Penny had had more time, she might have tried baking something, or buying some really high quality treat, but unfortunately, time was short, and she didn’t have much time left until her last class of the day, not to mention the festival. It was rather fortunate that there was a sweet store nearby that just so happened to sell sugar quills, and what would go better with a love letter than a sugar quill?_

_A quick trip to the shop and back left her with only one thing left to do, actually write the note. But a few moments later, it was done, reading simply, “You would be the sweetest date to the festival!” Now all that was left for her to do was to sneak over to the training grounds, leave the note and sugar quill, and then sneak back to her class before anyone noticed!_

* * *

_There’s a saying about the best laid plans of mice and men, or in this case, mice and Penn(y), as she arrived at the training grounds to find it already full of people, including Alex and worse, Merula, who Penny was just sure would catch her in the act if she wasn’t careful. Either the class had started early, or she had lost track of time._

_She hoped it was the former, because the latter spelled bad news for her._

_The situation wasn’t as dire as it first appeared, however, as the class was far more preoccupied with a rare opportunity, the chance to ride an actual griffin. Even those Penny was most worried about seeing her seemed absorbed by the lesson, and that gave her the chance to quietly sneak in._

_Slowly, steadily, she made her way closer and closer, gradually making her way to the table that had been set up for the class for reasons she didn’t quite know. Penny looked around herself carefully, spotting Alex about to take off on the griffin, happily stroking the symbol of his house’s fur with a beaming smile on his face, and Merula totally not watching Alex with a ‘carefully hidden but obvious to anyone who actually looked’ look of affection._

_Both busy, both not paying attention._

_It was as Alex finally took off, whooping and hollering with joy while the griffin released similar cries at being allowed to fly so freely, and with someone who seemed to love flying as much as it did, that she moved in to leave her letter, rising up from behind the table, and coming face to face with a startled Andre._

_“Penny?! What are you-MMPH!” The Fashion Wizard’s words were cut off as a panicked Penny covered his mouth with her hand, quickly looking around to see if anyone had noticed her. But everyone else was too busy watching what was happening above them, and letting out a sigh of relief, Penny brought a finger over her mouth to hush Andre before taking her hand off of his mouth._

_Still looking stunned, Andre stared at her for a moment, as if to confirm she was really there, before shaking his head and taking her by the shoulders._

_“Penny! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in class?” Andre quietly but no less anxiously asked her, and Penny winced. Well, that just about confirmed she had lost track of time. Shaking her head to clear her mind of that, she kept her response to a whisper._

_“I have to drop this letter and sugar quill off for Alex. It’s my last chance to do something like this before the festival starts!” Penny told him, and she hated that his look went from confused to understanding to sympathetic so quickly._

_“Penny...are you his secret admirer? The one who left the other notes and gifts?” Andre gently asked her, and the blonde Hufflepuff blinked._

_“What other notes-no, nevermind, not important. Andre, please, I, I am his secret admirer. You’re right. But right now, Merula is looking to both win the title of festival ambassador and have Alex as her date. His vote made others pick her as well when we used to be even, and I…” She paused, and Andre’s look of pity only grew, to her frustration._

_“Even if I don’t win...I’d like to at least have Alex as my date. At least once. Even if he doesn’t pick me, just once…” Her volume dropped lower and lower the longer she went on, but without the noise of Alex and the griffin in the background, it was audible. Wait, without the noise? Her head snapped to the side as she saw the two finally land, and she turned her pleading look back on the Ravenclaw student. He was quiet for a moment, then nodded._

_“Okay. Leave your message, I won’t tell him.” Andre quietly told her, and then as she gave him a grateful smile and put her note on the table, he spoke again, softly, and what he said made her heart clench. “Penny, I don’t think this is going to work. Are you sure you want to risk hurting yourself again?” Penny paused, then dropped her note and gift._

_“Alex once told me that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Even if I don’t win, I want to know I at least tried.” Penny’s voice was quiet but determined, and Andre nodded._

* * *

Despite the sorrow and regret her memories of these things usually brought her, Penny could not help but smile. Because at the very least, she had tried. Perhaps it might have been better to write her name on the note and make it clear it had been from her, so Alex might have approached her and talked about it. Perhaps she should have simply given it to him and confessed her feelings. But there was no point to what ifs or maybes.

The point was that she had tried. She hadn’t simply given up, even after having seen the bond that had formed between them. She had lost, in the end, yes. But she hadn’t gone down without somewhat of a fight.

And, despite the envy she felt, Penny couldn’t deny that Alex and Merula had been rather cute.

* * *

_The moment she saw Alex and Merula together, in new outfits that had obviously been made by Andre, Penny knew that it was over. She knew by the looks on their faces, that flirty, charming smirk Alex wore contrasted with the half-hearted scowl that tried, and failed, to hide eyes full of affection and desire. She knew by the way the two stood together as if they were alone together even in the crowds, by how they looked at each other as if they were the only person in the world._

_And by how a surprisingly loud and excited shout from the normally reserved Merula announced it to the whole festival._

_“YELL OUT LOUD THAT YOU’RE MY DATE!” Merula’s shout attracted a lot of startled looks at first, and then lots of cheering, as well as some complaining and grumbling as money was exchanged. Alex himself looked surprised, and Penny figured she’d eavesdropped over the two so many times before, what could one more time hurt?_

_“Whoa, Songbird! We do something like that, and we’ll have everyone looking and talking about us for months!” Alex, somehow, didn’t sound too upset about that idea._

_“You said you wanted everyone to know I’m your date. Maybe I want everyone to know you’re mine, too.” Merula responded, looking surprisingly shy as she rubbed the back of her head. Alex stared at her for a moment, two, then cupped his hands around his mouth._

_“I’M MERULA’S DATE!” He shouted so loud Penny was pretty sure someone still in Hogwarts could hear him. The response was another loud round of cheers and a look of first surprise, then delight from Merula herself, who smiled so brilliantly that Penny despite her own feelings just had to smile too._

_Then, she saw Andre moving towards the two, and she knew it was time to take her leave. No sense sticking around and being spotted, right? Besides, she’d seen all that she had to. Alex and Merula were on a date. And if they weren’t a couple now, it was only a matter of time._

_And in a way, that was almost liberating. Penny had spent years pining after Alex, two years doing it hopelessly, and knowing with absolute certainty that it was over and she’d never have his heart felt like a weight being lifted off of her own heart. It hurt, oh it hurt terribly, but the pain would heal in time. And not having that futile hope chaining her down felt wonderful. She felt like she could breath easier now._

_So Penny did what she had wanted to: enjoy the festival. The games, the treats, the laughter and the fun, the sunlight beaming down on them with even the teachers and staff seeming to be in a good mood. For just a moment, she’d sworn she had seen the tiniest hint of a smirk on Snape’s face. Not a smile, not really, but even a smirk was progress for the dour man._

_That might have been because Rakepick had had pie thrown at her face, though, to the sputtering, pie-covered woman’s fury. Just maybe._

_Lockhart’s arrival later on had been rather unwelcome by, well, pretty much everyone who actually knew what the man was like. The teachers, the students he’d recruited, even Penny who had once been his fan found herself less than impressed knowing what he was actually like. But before he could take over the festival and turn it into another egofest, he’d been challenged to a duel by none other than Alex._

_And if Penny had felt a small hint of satisfaction at seeing Lockhart’s ensuing humiliation, not only at having lost the duel but having been sprayed by a gobstone turned skunk, well, she was pretty sure that for once she and Merula were in perfect agreement, going by the look of glee on the other girl’s face._

_But as everyone, including the couple that wasn’t a couple, yet, rushed to the dance floor, Penny knew there was one last thing to do. The votes for festival ambassador hadn’t been tallied up yet, and she still had her own vote to give._

_So, she went to the voting booth, and was met by the same young man she and Merula had terrified earlier during their little spat. He looked up at her and paled, and Penny felt just a little bad for him. He let out a nervous laugh, but before he could speak, the blonde girl took out a quill, and signed her vote...for Merula. When she finished, she saw him gaping at her, and she couldn’t help but laugh._

_“She makes my Alex happy. And isn’t making others happy the point of being a festival ambassador?” He stared at her for a moment longer, and then his smile was no longer so nervous and seemed more admiring. He nodded, and Penny left to join her friends on the dance floor, feeling for the first time like everything was going right._

* * *

_She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised that, for all her talk, Merula had cared less about actually winning the competition and more about impressing her Alex._

_“I voted for you...” Merula shyly informed her date, and despite all the faith he had shown in her, even Alex had looked surprised by that, turning to her with his green eyes going wide._

_“I...but...I already told you that you had my vote, right after I had told Tonks and Charlie. So why didn’t you vote for...you know, you?” Alex stuttered out, and that seemed to amuse Merula more than anything. “The whole day you’ve been going on about how winning was so important to you.”_

_Merula just smiled at him, and leaned closer as she told him: “I thought it would impress you. But then you became my date and it didn’t matter anymore.”_

_For a moment, Penny stared at the Slytherin girl with eyes perhaps even wider than Alex’s, but then she smiled, shaking her head in wonder as she looked at Merula, Merula who had once been obsessed with being the focus of everyone’s attention but now seemed perfectly happy with just Alex’s._

_‘Looks like you deserve my vote after all.’ Penny thought, and then turned as the announcement was about to be made...then delayed due to Murphy’s love of drama. But he didn’t need to bother. The results were rather obvious, if only to her._

_“And now, finally, your festival ambassadors are...Merula Snyde and Alexander Ambrosius!” Murphy finally announced, and the whole field was filled with cheers and congratulations. “Let’s cheer for Merula, a Slytherin who fancies herself the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts...and Alexander, the Gryffindor who just saved this festival by defeating Gilderoy Lockhart in a duel...as they fly off together around the pitch!” Murphy paused for just a moment, then grinned. “And if you didn’t hear the two of them earlier, they’re on a date!”_

_That part of the announcement received even louder cheers, and Penny could clearly see the two of them blushing and smiling, looking at each other with shyly but happily. Crowns of flowers were placed upon both of their heads, and even as the two blushed just a bit more, Alex beamed at his date._

_“Well, would you look at that! We’ve both won, Songbird!” Merula beamed right back at him, and if Penny had needed any more proof the girl looked lovely when she was smiling, this would have been it._

_“This might just be the best date I’ve ever been on!” Then, with a small but genuine smile, Merula said, “Now let’s fly…”_

_“I’ve always wanted to fly with a Songbird. Let’s go!” Alex’s smile had somehow grown bigger, and soon the both of them were on the celebratory broom together. And as the two took off into the air, Penny saw Merula kiss Alex’s cheek, before they both flew off into the horizon, and the rainbow that awaited them there._

* * *

The Penny of yesteryear might have felt intense envy for Merula had she seen such a sight. Even the Penny of today could not lie and say she didn’t feel a little bit jealous. It had been like the ending of a fairy tale, where the hero and his beloved flew off into the horizon, having saved the day and earned their happily ever after.

But Penny was smart enough to know by now that this wasn’t her fairy tale, that she wasn’t the princess, and Alex wasn’t her prince charming. This was the story of the Flame and the Songbird, and for all the hurt that she still felt, all the resentment and the envy and the confusion, Penny hoped that their story had a happy ending.

But as lovely a tale as it was, it had still been a long day, and Penny was forced to admit that perhaps it was time to follow Tonks’ example and go to sleep. And yet, as she went to extinguish the lights in her room, Penny heard a knock at her door. She paused, then frowned in confusion as she heard the knock come again, this time a bit more insistent. Getting up out of bed, she went for the door, curious as to who it might be. Tonks, perhaps, having been unable to sleep.

“Who is it-” Penny froze mid-sentence. Her question had been answered, but not in a way she ever would have been expected.

“Haywood,” Merula Snyde said, still wearing her festival outfit and looking an odd mix of unsure, nervous, and disbelieving, as if she herself couldn’t understand why she was here. “I’d like to talk with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to give a bit of an explanation for Alex's explosion at Penny over the charm spell, it always seemed odd to me that Penny almost hitting the MC with a love spell, and then responding with 'Would it have been so bad?' when called out, just kind of got glanced over. I mean, she's corrected about it, but I'd of thought that the response to almost getting enchanted like that would have been a bit bigger. And since Alex has a fiercer temper than the canon MC, it kind of makes that he'd blow up at her.
> 
> Penny isn't a bad person, and that kind of mistake makes sense for a teenager, but so does a really angry response from another teenager almost hit with a charm like that.


	4. Songbirds and Sugar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this event obviously didn't happen in canon, but I thought I would throw it in, in part because Merula is a bit further along on her redemption arc since we're counting sidequests and events as part of the story and because Alex is a lot more determined to redeem her than the canon MC, as well as because I wanted to give Penny some happiness and a chance at moving on, because she really is a sweet girl.

Penny stared for just a moment longer, her mouth gaping like a fish, and Merula was just as silent, though she was starting to look a bit frustrated now.

“If you don’t want to talk, fine, I can go-”

“No, wait!” Penny cried, and Merula looked taken aback, her own mouth falling open before closing with a click. The Hufflepuff breathed deeply for just a moment, then opened her door a little wider. “Please, come in.”

Giving her and the door both a look of suspicion, Merula slowly made her way inside, looking around Penny’s room without saying a word, even as Penny closed the door behind them. Penny wished she had something to offer the other witch, but she hadn’t been expecting her to come, and so for a moment the two simply stared at one another. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Then, Penny spoke, hesitantly and haltingly.

“How...how did you get inside the Hufflepuff dormitories?” She asked, and Merula in response simply gave her a sardonic half-smile.

“Alex...Ambrosius has gotten  _ really _ good at sneaking into dormitories, apparently. Daft fool teased me about sneaking into Slytherin to see me, and I had to stop him before he could do anything foolish.” Merula told her, and then muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘Even if it might have been nice…’

Penny supposed that made sense, though she doubted the faculty would approve if they found out. As Penny’s mind began to calm down from the surprise of seeing her (former?) rival at her door, she felt a sense of curiosity as to the girl’s reasons.

“Well, now I know how. But why? Why are you here?” Penny questioned, and Merula stared a moment longer at her before groaning and sitting down, in a way that reminded Penny greatly of Alex.

“It’s about the festival today, and what happened there.” Merula started, and Penny actually gaped in shock. There was no way.

“Are you...are you actually here to apologize about  _ winning _ ?” Penny asked her disbelievingly, only to receive a scoff and an ‘Are you stupid?’ look.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to apologize for winning.” Merula corrected her with a snort, then seemed to sober up as she tried to find the right words to say next. “But...I guess I am here to say sorry about entering a competition I didn’t actually care about.” Merula said, and it sounded almost physically painful for her to admit. But she powered through nonetheless. “I didn’t actually care about winning. I just wanted to-”

“Impress Alex?” Penny finished, and Merula’s head shot up to give her a look of total surprise. For a few moments, it looked like she was trying to say something, but no words came out. Then…

“H-how did you know that?” Merula sputtered out, and Penny giggled, earning her a harsh glare that wasn’t really as intimidating as it once had been.

“I overheard you talking with Alex about it,” She informed the other girl, and Merula actually blushed, just a little bit. “How you voted for him, and only wanted to win to impress him, and how him dating you meant it didn’t matter anymore.” Penny shook her head and smiled at a now definitely blushing Merula. “It was a good thing I already voted for you to make up for it.”

And now Merula was definitely staring, eyes filled with shock and disbelief.

“But...but we were enemies. We were competing, just that morning I accused you of something it turns out you didn’t actually do. So why would you…?” Merula didn’t finish, and Penny didn’t look her in the eyes even as she started to speak again.

“Because you make him happy. Make Alex happy.” Penny told her, and the ‘Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts’ was silent. “He talks about you a lot, you know? His beloved Songbird, or before, his amazing Firebrand. I was, and am, pretty jealous.”

Merula actually laughed at that, shaking her head in disbelief and giving Penny a look as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“You? Jealous of me? Please! You’ve got the whole school eating out of your hands, a ton of friends, even the teachers like you!” Merula responded, a smile of amazement on her lips. Penny smiled too, but it was a sad, small smile.

“But none of them are Alex.” And Merula couldn’t say anything to that, it seemed. “The bond you and Alex share is so wonderful that I drove myself half-crazy with envy this year and the last.” Penny gently told her guest. Merula was silent for a moment, before looking up at Penny again, and there was an odd look on her face Penny couldn’t quite place.

“Would you be surprised if I told you I envied you, too?” Merula asked her, and Penny was surprised. Merula seemed to detect that, because she nodded. “He trusts you, absolutely and without a doubt. You’re so precious to him I can’t even put it into words. It’s not, it’s not like my bond with him is, but…” She hesitated, then continued. “But it’s something that’s scared me ever since I first fell for him, how close the two of you are. And maybe he and I would be closer if I just let him in, but I’m...stubborn. Not scared or anything by it, just stubborn.”

Penny could read between the lines.

“You’re so much prettier than I am,” Merula continued, “And you're popular and you’re nice and why  _ wouldn’t _ he pick you over me?” Penny knew Merula was a bit insecure about her status as Alex’s love, but she had no idea it was like this…

“Merula, I’m sure he trusts you too…” She started, but Merula just laughed before she could get too far into her statement.

“He sort of trusts me, according to him.” Merula informed her, and Penny stared.

“I’m, I’m sorry, what?” Her voice was full of disbelief and Merula’s laugh was just a bit more genuine this time.

“Weasley wanted us to try and work out our differences, and, well…”

* * *

_ “You trust me, don’t you?” _

_ “I sort of trust you.” _

_ “...sort of trust me.” _

_ “Yep!” _

_ “We’ve been on two dates, not to mention all the other things we did together like take care of F-Lucius’s spawn and confronting those dementors!” _

_ “Songbird, I absolutely trust you with my heart, but as for my life, welllll...there was that time with the Devil’s Snare…” _

_ “That was years ago! We were eleven!” _

_ “Hey, I almost died at eleven because of that thing!” _

_ “If your life had ended because of a little Devil’s Snare, would it really have been worth living?” _

_ “Ah, my heart, my fragile heart! Big bro, I trusted her with my heart, and she’s betrayed me!” _

_ “...so are you two dating?” _ _   
_ _ “I mean, we’ve been on two dates before.” _

_ “And the way this fool is acting, he’ll be lucky if he ever goes on anymore.” _

_ “H-hey now, Songbird, don’t be like that!” _ _   
_ _ “Hmph.” _

_ “...would some grovelling make things better?” _

_ “We’ll see.” _

* * *

Penny had to struggle not to laugh. These two really couldn’t resist squabbling and bantering with each other whenever they could, could they? Even Merula smiled, just a bit, and she looked more than a bit proud at having outmaneuvered Alex in a verbal jousting match for once.

“T-that’s terrible, terrible of both of you! I can’t believe Alex said he only sort of trusts you, and you said something so mean about the Devil’s Snare almost killing him!” Penny’s scolding wasn’t as effective with her only barely holding back giggles, and Merula simply shrugged.

“I...might have gone a bit far. But it’s what he gets after saying something like that.” Merula stated bluntly, and this time Penny actually let a snort escape her before blushing in embarrassment. Merula really was grinning at her now.

“Now I get why that goofball likes teasing you so much. It’s surprisingly fun getting you to laugh at something I said.” Merula joked, and Penny felt strange, in a way she couldn’t quite explain. Like a part of her was starting to like this girl, despite all the bad blood between them.

“You’re so strange to me, Merula.” Penny admitted, and the girl in question looked like she was trying to decide whether she should be confused or offended. “You can be so nasty sometimes, but other times you can be so nice and even sweet.” Now Merula just seemed...perhaps a bit sad. She couldn’t seem to meet Penny’s eyes. So the blonde continued.

“You called me Half-Blood earlier this year, with the same hostility you had in our first year, but later on, you broke up a fight between Alex and Ismelda because you didn’t want either of them hurt. Two years ago, after finding out Alex and Talbott were unregistered animagus, you didn’t report them, even after Talbott wanted to wipe your memory, only being stopped by Alex. You didn’t try to blackmail them, just kept their secret…” She hesitated, then continued, “You found my sister, and have been helping to try and free her. I can’t figure you out.”

Merula didn’t say anything, and for a minute or so the room was silent. When she finally began to speak again, her voice was quiet.

“I’m not a good person.” She started. “When I first came to Hogwarts, I was angry, so angry, at the world, at myself, at...at my parents, at everyone. You’ve probably heard by now that my parents were Death Eaters.” Penny nodded. “I wanted to be like them. I knew they weren’t good people, but they were still my parents, even if they didn’t act like it after they joined You-Know-Who.”

“So I copied them, like any kid wanting to make their parents proud would.” Merula continued, still not looking Penny in the eye. “I strived to be the best, no matter what that took. I looked down on muggles and half-bloods, because my parents did. I was mean and cruel and I didn’t care who I hurt as long as I felt good.” Merula met her eyes now, and Penny found herself wanting to hug this girl for some reason she couldn’t quite explain. “Even now, I can’t bring myself to say sorry. Maybe it’s pride, maybe it’s stubbornness, but I just, I can’t. But Ambrosius...no, Alex. He makes me want to be better.”

Penny felt her hand touch something, and looked down to see she had unconsciously reached down to try and hold Merula’s hand. Merula seemed just as surprised as she was, but she didn’t fight it.

“He doesn’t care about who my parents are, he cares about me. He believes in me, thinks I’m different than they are, better than they are. To him, I’m not ‘that horrid Death Eater child’, I’m, I’m a Songbird.” And if her laugh is a bit hysterical, Penny doesn’t say a word, just holds her hand a bit tighter. “I fancy him. I like him. I’m not sure if I love him quite yet or not, but I think I could. And that’s so different than anything I could have ever expected I can’t tell whether I should get angry, celebrate, or cry.”

“And it’s not just him, you know? It’s Mrs. Weasely, who reminded me so much of my mother back before Voldemort sank his fangs into her and my father. It’s Barnaby, who is so kind and good that I kept getting mad at him because I just couldn’t get how anyone could be that loving. And Ismelda! She’s a bitch,” Penny choked a bit at that, and Merula smirked, but kept going, “But she’s also my best and most loyal friend.”

“Alex told me about how jealous she was when she saw him becoming your friend…” Penny whispered, and Merula nodded.

“And of course, the damn fool goes and tries to help her anyway, stepping in to protect her from Emily and trying to help her with Barnaby.” Merula shook her head in wonderment. “He calls her Raven now, you know? Instead of Scarecrow like he used to. She hated that name, and once he found out, he stopped using it. Why? Because ‘she’s not actually that bad’. He’s not perfect, I know that. He can be kind of a jerk himself sometimes, and he’s got a temper as bad as mine, but…”

“I understand.” Penny said, and she did. Alex was infuriating, sometimes, and he occasionally went too far. But underneath it was a good man, a loving friend, someone who made the world brighter. She could understand.

“And I’ve been getting better, he says, but what if I backslide? What if I screw it up and go back to being a bitch again? What if he gives up on me, leaves me behind? Leaves me like…” ‘My parents did’, is unsaid, but Penny hears it all the same. Still, she can’t help but shake her head.

“The night before you two met up again after your first date ended early,” Penny began, “I talked to him about you. Asked him why he was doing this, instead of just giving up. He looked at me and told me the best things in life are worth fighting for, that his father had apparently fought tooth and nail for his marriage with Alex’s mother after what happened with Jacob.” Penny saw that Merula was paying rapt attention and kept going.

“He told me later that his parents were screaming at each other every night for weeks after Jacob disappeared, the pain and the fear and the whispers from both the muggle and wizarding world nearly splitting them apart. But Alex’s father kept fighting for his marriage, and they healed their bond. When Alex’s father died, from a terminal illness, his mother kept holding his hand with the same love she’d held for him the day they were first married.”

“I didn’t even know he had lost his father…” Merula whispered, and Penny nodded, unsurprised. She hadn’t either before then.

“And that night, he told me you were worth fighting for. That even if you two only became friends, he would never stop fighting for his Firebrand, his Songbird.” Merula’s head snapped up, and Penny smiled at her, brightly if a little sadly as well. “Even if you did fall back, even if you did become cruel and nasty again, he’d fight to bring you back, to save his beloved Songbird.”

“But why!” Merula cried, confusion and doubt and hope in her voice. “Why? There are so many other girls out there, so many that love him if he’d just  _ look _ . You, Tulip, Chiara, Badeea...so why not pick them instead?”

Penny laughed. Laughed so much that Merula looked a mix between hurt, mad, and baffled.

“Because,” Penny said, and the pain was still there, the jealousy was still there, but there was so much more affection and joy and  _ love _ the dark parts of her couldn’t possibly hold her heart in their grip anymore. “He only has eyes for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That would the end of our story, folks! I'm going to add a fifth chapter to give a bit of backstory on Alex, and to show off his relationships (and nicknames) with his friends. I was going to go further and add teachers, as well as talk about his relationship with his family, but I'll just add smaller notes about that in the next chapter's...notes.


	5. Who's Alex?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't actually part of the story, it's just me giving a bit of backgroundr/relationship info on Alex. If you're interested, feel free to read, but if not, you won't miss anything too important.

Character Description: Alexander Ambrosius

Age: 16 (Year 5) (Born August 2nd, 1973)

Basic Physical Description: Red-hair, green eyes, 185 cm tall (or a little more than 6 feet), athletic physique like that of a football/soccer player

Parents: Kieran and Brigid Ambrosius

Siblings: Jacob Ambrosius

Blood: Half-Blood (Wizard Mom/Muggle Dad)

Alexander Ambrosius is this story’s version of the MC, and is a bit different from the canonical version. A lot of this comes from him actually having a more solid, defined background here, being the youngest son of a muggle-born auror, Kieran Ambrosius, and a pureblood healer, Brigid Ambrosius, previously Brigid Maher. Despite having a last name similar to the one Merlin is given in some tales, Alex isn’t actually related to the great wizard. The name, indeed, comes from those very tales, having been taken by Alex’s great-grandfather, a student of literature and myth, due to him being an orphan with no known surname.

Alex’s parents were very much in love, despite the severe protestations of the Maher clan, who while not anti-muggle did not believe their daughter should mix her blood with one that held no magic. Their marriage was very reluctantly accepted, and even now they remain distant, especially after Jacob’s misadventures. They’ll back their daughter to the hilt, but Alex has grown used to receiving a formal, cool reception from his grandparents on the Maher side.

The sheer love that existed between his parents had a very positive impact on Alex, making him much more affectionate than his canon counterpart, as well as more flirty due to seeing just how much his parents flirted with each other, and how happy it made them. The conflict with the Maher clan, and later on his brother’s disappearance, has also caused Alex to be just a little bit obsessed with the idea of family. He thinks of most of his friends, and even some of the teachers and faculty, in familial terms, and it has made him extremely protective of them.

Of course, things aren’t always perfect. Alex inherited his mother’s temper, and his father’s stubbornness, which has led to him getting into more than a few fights over the years, and caused his initial relationship with Merula to actually be even more hostile than in canon.

One of the biggest differences with Alex compared to canon is that Jacob’s actions and disappearances had realistic consequences, both of a half-blood who lived in muggle society vanishing and of a wizard doing the things he did. On the muggle side of things, Jacob had been acting stranger and stranger lately due to R’s influence, and this combined with him suddenly vanishing led many to believe he’d ran away, or been caught up in the criminal element. Whispers and rumors spread about him, and Kieran’s status as a detective meant some members of the press pressed the family for interviews and information.

Jacob’s actions in the wizarding world caused a lot of hostility towards the family from that end, with the Maher clan whispering behind closed doors about how this was the fault of Brigid having mixed blood children, further cooling relations between the Ambrosius family and the Maher clan. And in the middle of all this was young Alex, who had just found out his beloved older brother wasn’t coming home and now all these people were saying mean things about Jacob and his parents and what did it all mean?

Not helping matters was that the stress and pain of all this in addition to Jacob’s disappearance briefly soured Kieran and Brigid’s marriage, the two often getting into fights and screaming matches about who was to blame, how could this happen, so on and so forth. Alex’s own temper grew worse, and he became angry, fighting other kids and yelling at adults who talked badly about his family, and nurturing a tiny seed of resentment towards Jacob for causing this to happen in the first place by disappearing.

It was after one such explosion that Kieran confronted his son, demanding to know why he was causing so much trouble. Alex, tears streaming down his face and a feeling of anger and hurt burning inside his chest, told him “Because that’s what you and mum do! You yell and scream at each other all the time!”

Hearing this rocked Kieran to his core, filling him with guilt and shame. Not only had he allowed his relationship with his wife to deteriorate, but he had also hurt his son. It was after this he did his best to fix things with Brigid, who was herself tired of being so angry. It took time, took couple’s therapy and getting their son to see someone for his own issues, but eventually things returned to mostly normal. The pain was still there, the fear, the regrets and the ‘What could I have done?’, but that warm love filled the home again.

Alex was able to mostly recover from these events, his temper slowly but surely dimming until it was still potent, but no longer as explosive. And that tiny seed of anger grew no further, eclipsed by the sorrow of missing his beloved brother and the determination to find Jacob and bring him home.

Even if that meant having to punch him. Actually, Alex was still a little angry, so he’d probably punch his brother anyway.

Life went on for the Ambrosius family. Things got better. And then it was discovered that Kieran had contracted a terminal illness, and didn’t have long to live. Brigid couldn’t heal him, even though she searched desperately for a spell or cure until her husband gently persuaded her not to kill herself trying to save him. He spent the last years of his life with his family, and imparted on Alex just how important those bonds are. He taught his son as much as he could, played with him, spent time with him, and made sure Brigid knew everyday that he loved her.

When he passed, he did so surrounded by family, friends, co-workers, with his beloved wife holding his hand, and his son’s head resting on his chest.

It was not long after this that Alex first started to attend Hogwarts. He started to make friends, met his enemy/rival/future love and fought with her tooth and nail, and when he sent a letter back to his mother complaining about this nasty girl who was just driving him crazy, Brigid remembered another arrogant, mean pure-blood brat who fell in love with a stubborn muggle-born boy who liked puns just a bit too much and felt like crying.

Alex is in his fifth year at Hogwarts now, and approaching the end of it. His goals by the end of the year? Rescue Bea, find his brother, uncover the mystery of R, and maybe get that pretty Songbird he’s had feelings for ever since that one Christmas Day when she smiled at him to be his girlfriend.

* * *

Relationships

Rowan Khanna AKA Row-Boat/Browan: Brother-Figure

Rowan is, in no uncertain terms, Alex’s best friend, and someone he considers to be like a brother to him. They make dumb jokes together, they share secrets no one else knows, they talk about their hopes and dreams and fears, and if Alex ever had a son he hopes his kid would be half the man Rowan is. That doesn’t mean he won’t tease his best friend relentlessly, whether it’s about crushes or with lame puns or just occasionally calling him a nerd. But make no mistake: Alex loves him, and it’s why he clashed so heavily with Merula in the beginning. Insult me? Fine, heard it before, I’ll prove you wrong. Insult my brother, Rowan? Now you’ve crossed a line. Rowan, in turn, considers him the brother he never had.

Rowan’s death would be devastating to Alex, and he’d already be all aboard the ‘Make Rakepick Pay’ train before that for what she did to Merula. After that, he’d carefully study the ‘To the pain’ speech from Princess Bride to make sure he gets every. Detail.  _ Right. _

Penny Haywood AKA Sugar Spice: Sister-Figure

If Rowan is Alex’s best male friend, Penny is easily his best female friend (Merula doesn’t count, she’s his crush/hopefully one day girlfriend). Alex trusts her implicitly, and would move heaven and earth to help her. She brightens his day, soothes his anger, and wipes away his tears, and if anyone dared to hurt her, his wrath would be terrible to behold. Unfortunately, how he sees Penny and how Penny sees him is a little different. Penny, as already shown both in canon and this story, has a crush on him, and has long before the Celestial Ball. He’s her knight in shining armor, her hero, her confidant and stalwart friend. Alex, sadly, is too focused on Merula to really notice it, and only figures it out after Penny has already suffered some heartbreak. Things get better after Penny bows out, and the two share a lovely brother-sister relationship.

Ben Copper AKA Lionheart: Little Brother-Figure

Ben can best be described as someone Alex feels a mix of protectiveness, affection, and exasperation about. On the one hand, Ben is for the most part kind of a coward. And Alex doesn’t begrudge him for that, but he does occasionally find it just a bit frustrating to deal with. However, Ben is also a nice boy, and his skittishness makes Alex want to help him and keep him safe, and the fact that Ben is actually pretty powerful and clever when he overcomes his fear is something that Alex definitely wants to encourage. Hence his nickname for the boy: Lionheart. While some might find it mocking, Alex calls him this to try and bring out the powerful wizard he knows is within the boy if could just be brave.

Ben, in return, definitely sees Alex as someone he admires and wants to be like, and feels guilty for having been mind controlled against him. That Alex responded with pure rage, not directed at him but at whoever controlled him, makes him feel good, even if he sometimes wishes Alex wasn’t so overprotective. He’s trying to grow, it’s just not easy!

Tulip Karasu AKA Flower Power: Little Sister-Figure

Alex’s relationship with Tulip is a bit more complicated. On the one hand, Alex finds her mischievous nature and pranks hilarious, and when she exposes her more vulnerable side, more specifically her fear of having no friends, he does his best to comfort her and be there for her. On the other hand, however, she was Merula’s friend, and she betrayed her. Even if Merula and him were still enemies, such a thing would have disappointed him, and considering their relationship, he told Tulip, essentially: ‘You should feel bad, what you did was wrong. Now, what can you do to fix it and be better?’ He’s constantly encouraging her, not just with promises that he’ll never abandon her, but also trying to encourage her to mend things with Merula, pointing out that the pain both of them suffer we’ll never fully heal until they do. Tulip is, at the moment, too afraid to do so, but she definitely encourages Alex’s efforts to help her old friend, and unlike most of their other friends, is pretty firmly team Merulander. Alerula? Whatever their ship name is, she’s all for it.

Andre Egwu AKA Ace/Style Master: Stylist Friend

While Alex isn’t quite as close with Andre as he is with some of his other friends, he still has a great respect for the other boy and his skills. He’s one of those who encourage Andre in his dreams, and is more than happy to serve as a model for the boy to test his designs and outfits on. And if he gets a sweet new look out of it, hey, that benefits them both, right? Though sometimes he finds the way Andre does things just a bit odd. Inviting all the possible secret admirers to a single location just to figure out which one Alex wants to date with promises of designing outfits for all of them? Weird. Andre has a sort of crush on Alex, but it’s more along the lines of really liking how Alex looks and finding his character appealing than anything like Penny or Merula feel.

Bill Weasely AKA Big Bro: Big Brother-Figure

That one was kind of obvious, huh? But yes, Alex absolutely sees Bill as an older brother, in some ways more than he even saw Jacob. Bill, likewise, has all but adopted Alex as yet another sibling, and the two spend time messing around with each other, teasing each other, having each other’s back, etc. If Bill gives Alex advice, Alex listens. When Alex encourages Bill, Bill listens. Both of them are very protective of the other, and while Bill doesn’t particularly ship Alex with anyone, he’s actually rather fond of his relationship with Merula, in part because his mother has already essentially made her another daughter, and Alex another son, so hey, works out, right? And honestly, the big brother in Ben just wants to see Merula in a better place mentally and emotionally, so he’s definitely in favor of it.

Nymphadora Tonks AKA Imp: Sister-Figure

Tonks is yet another member of Alex’s friend group who he considers like a sister, and Tonks loves him as a brother right back. The two bond over their mischievous personalities, as well as how genuine and kind they can be when they’re taking things seriously. Once, they got into a bit of a prank war to see who could out-prank the other, but it ended inconclusively after the two accidentally got Snape in the crossfire and ran for their dear lives before he could figure out it was them. There was a brief rift between them after the disaster at Alex and Merula’s first date, but mended fairly quickly after it formed. Tonks finds Alex and Merula’s relationship adorable, but still hopes he’ll end up with Penny, seeing her friend pining after him so much. She finds his inability to see her frustrating, and has been tempted to smack him over the head and yell it at him for some time now.

Charlie Weasley AKA Dragon Prince: Brother-Figure

How could he see Bill as a big brother and not see Charlie as a brother, too? The moment Professor Snape discovered these two had become friends, it is said he looked up to the sky as if to say, “If I could deduct house points from you, God, I would.” Unlike most of their friends, Alex is dead serious in his attempts to get Charlie a dragon, to the amusement/horror of everyone else. Luckily, his efforts have thus far not met with success, but there are a lot of eyes on him to make sure just in case. Charlie, of course, greatly appreciates this, and like Bill considers him part of the family. He’s not quite as pro-Alex/Merula as Bill is, but he does think the two make a fine couple, and he just wishes that crazy Slytherin lass would stop denying her feelings and confess already.

Jae Kim AKA Scoundrel: Suspicious Friend

Of all of his friends, Alex is the most unsure about Jae. This isn’t out of malice or dislike or anything, but, well...Jae does go around selling products he really shouldn’t, to people he really shouldn’t, and doesn’t seem to care about the consequences of his actions. Alex and Jae do get along when it comes to their desires to be a little more free to do their own things outside of some of the restrictions Hogwarts puts on them, and they do get along for the most part. But Jae selling cheats to Hogwarts students for their O.W.L.s and not telling them they could be easily caught, not to mention trying to sell them to Penny and getting upset when Alex got her not to, has made him more than a little suspect.

Badeea Ali AKA Startist: New Friend

Alex and Badeea have really only just met, but he’s already taken a liking to her. She’s nice, creative, and he admires how she’s managed to connect her talent and interest with her learning. He’s happy to help her when he can, and asks how her newest works of art are coming along, offering to get her supplies if she needs them. Similarly, Badeea has just met him, but she finds him to be a charming, kind person, and if his feelings for Merula weren’t clear to anyone who looked for more than half a second, she might have asked him out.

Liz Tuttle AKA Beast Bestie: New Friend

Much like Badeea, Alex has only just met Liz, and finds her to be a very nice if somewhat odd girl. He simultaneously admires her for her dedication to helping and protecting magical creatures while also being baffled by just how dedicated she is. Knowing that she is not very comfortable with people, he tries to accommodate her by bringing a pet around or some kind of magical creature or animal, so she can take some comfort in them. She duly appreciates this, and considers Alex a good friend...even if she thinks his love of meat is barbaric. His exasperated responses of ‘We’re omnivores, we’re supposed to eat meat!’ and ‘Animals eat meat too!’ are usually ignored.

Talbott Winger AKA Feathers: Vitriolic Best Buds

Have you ever had a friend that you like but also drives you absolutely crazy? That’s Alex and Talbott to each other, for different reasons. Alex is high-energy, extroverted, mischievous, and can occasionally be a bit of an ass. Talbott is reserved, introverted, serious, and can also occasionally be a bit of an ass. Before they became friends, the two used to confuse and annoy the hell out of each other, their differences in personality causing them to argue or roll their eyes at one another. After Alex earned his trust and friendship, however, Talbott is much more open, and is trying to mess with Alex right back, which he’s still getting used to. Talbott admires Alex’s compassion and willingness to reach out to others, even himself or Merula or Ismelda, and appreciates that Alex kept from obviating Merula and convinced him to register as an animagus. Alex, in return, considers Talbott to be a stalwart, trustworthy person, someone who you can count on to have your back, and has secretly sworn to kick the crap out of the Death Eaters who killed his parents if he ever meets them. He was also willing to register as an animagus for him, despite his distrust of the ministry, because he got Talbott too and didn’t want to be a hypocrite.

Chiara Lobosca AKA Moonlight: Trusted Friend/Potential Crush

If there were anyone that might have a chance to challenge Merula’s place as keeper of Alex’s heart, it would be Chiara. While he only has eyes for his Songbird, his Moonlight is someone he acknowledges as beautiful, intelligent, calm, and kind, and if it hadn’t been for Merula she’d be the one he had feelings for. That she would trust him with her secret deeply touched him, and has made him extremely protective of her, to the point where he’s openly told her that if the ministry of magic ever did discover her, he’d help her get away, even if he was punished for it. Chiara in turn trusts Alex with her life and secret, and like Penny longs for him, though she was able to recognize that Merula held his heart earlier so it didn’t hurt quite as much. She is just as protective of Alex as he is of her, and would not hesitate to reveal herself if it meant saving his life. Like the canon MC, he is the only one at Hogwarts who could convince her to reveal her secret to others. He’s the Sunlight to her Moonlight.

Beatrice Haywood AKA Bea: Little Sister-Figure

Alex only briefly met Beatrice, not enough to really know her or give her a proper nickname, but she’s already his little sister. That’s just how it works, she’s his now, don’t try to fight him on this, you WILL lose. And he WILL rescue her, even if it’s the last thing he ever does.

Barnaby Lee AKA Strongman: Brother-Figure

The first time they ever met, Barnaby told Alex he was spying on him for Merula. Alex’s responses were, out loud: “I knew Firebrand had the hots for me.” And in his head: ‘I have only just met you, and I would actually literally die for you.’ Their encounters from then on out only further enhanced this initial belief, to the point where he sees the other boy as one of the purest, kindest persons he’s ever met. Because of this, Alex is always happy to see him, greeting him like he would someone he’s known his entire life. And Barnaby, being Barnaby, responded to this with gusto, happily accepting Alex as his brother. No, really, when Alex said, “What’s up, bro?”, Barnaby responded with, “Wait, you’re my brother?” When Alex, always happy to have more family, asked him, “Do you want me to be?”, Barnaby very happily said yes. So yes, they’re brothers now. Again, do not try to fight Alex on this. It’s just how things are, okay?

This is a bit of a divergence from canon, where Barnaby has feelings for the MC, but hey, brotherly love is pretty good too, right?

Ismelda Murk AKA Scarecrow/Raven: Frenemy(?)

To tell the truth, neither Alex nor Ismelda are quite sure how to feel about each other. Alex dislikes how cruel and vicious Ismelda can be, and how she pushes Merula down darker paths, while Ismelda resents him for interfering with her friendship with Merula and for reminding her of her sister. But at the same time, Alex admires her genuine loyalty to Merula, and finds her equally genuine love for Barnaby and her decision to not use a love potion on him sweet, while Ismelda appreciates him trying to help her friend, protecting Ismelda herself from Emily, and trying to help her with Barnaby. She also appreciates him stopping his use of Scarecrow after she said it bothered her and calling her Raven instead.

The fact that Alex was willing to take his animagus form, that of a dog, when he found out she liked them in order to comfort her also raised him in her opinion.

Merula Snyde AKA Firebrand/Songbird: Love Interest

The big one. Alex is straight up head over heels for Merula, and has been since their very first Christmas together, when she gave him that beautiful smile. While his feelings weren’t quite as strong at first, they’ve grown over time to the point where Alex already knows for a fact that she’s the one. So he flirts with her, teases her, spends time with her, comforts her, and tries to help her grow out of the dark place she was in. That doesn’t mean their relationship is always perfect: as previously stated, they actually started off as bigger enemies than they were in canon, and even now, they sometimes get into actual arguments or even screaming matches, which neither of them enjoy.

But Merula is the one Alex wants, the only one he has eyes for. She’s his Songbird, his Firebrand, so passionate and strong and surprisingly sweet and adorable underneath the harsh surface. Her refusal to give up or give in, how determined she is to beat him and any other challenges or rivals she faces, how he’s pretty sure she would glare down Voldemort himself without even a second of hesitation is incredibly attractive, and the fact that she’s smart and pretty to go along with it really doesn’t help his poor teenage brain. He desperately wants to be her friend, if not something more, and that feeling has only grown over the years. One day, he’ll tell her how he feels, when he stops being such a coward that’s afraid of being rejected by the one girl he’s ever really liked this way. Because to Alex, she’s way out of his league.

To Merula, Alex is infuriating, distracting, annoying, encouraging, amazing, loving. He drives her crazy, but as she herself has said, not always in a bad way. From the very same Christmas that Alex first started to feel feelings for her, Merula has herself started to see him in a different light. Unlike Alex, she has done her best to deny it, hide it, do anything but admit what she really feels, but the daft fool is so damn stubborn! He just won’t leave well enough alone, always trying to reach out to her! And Merula just can’t understand why someone so wonderful is looking at her like she’s anything precious or special, why he wants to go out with her, why he doesn’t judge her, why he likes her and wants to help her.

She wants him. She wants him so badly it hurts. She wants to be by his side, to have him only look at her, to have him never stop looking at her. She wants to be with him, to stop being such a stubborn, idiotic coward and confess just how much she likes him. Her insecurity sometimes makes her lash out, or, as seen in Year 6, try to make Alex jealous so she has proof, and she always feels guilty, but if she admits the truth and apologizes then she’s weak.

But Alex has Merula’s heart. He has since that fateful Christmas Day. Has since the Celestial Ball, since their first date, since Valentine’s Day, and the celebration of magic has only made it worse. If she sees herself married and with a family, there’s only one man by her side as a husband and a father.

One day, she’ll sing a song for him. One she’s tentatively called ‘From The Songbird To The Flame.’ And maybe they can have that happy ending she stopped believing in years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since I said last chapter I would have smaller info for Alex's relationship with the teachers and his family in here:
> 
> Alex's relationship with the faculty is, much like his relationship with most of his friends, family based. Dumbledore is like another grandfather, Hagrid, Filwick, Kettleburn, and even Snape are like uncles (though Snape is a much more distant, cool uncle, obviously), McGonagall, Hooch, and Sprout are like aunts, so on and so forth. The only exception is Rakepick, who goes from 'This lady is kind of suspicious but is maybe alright' to arch-enemy post-betrayal. She tortured his Songbird, trapped his brother, and later killed his best friend. Alex despises her.
> 
> Alex's relationship with his family is rather interesting. He called his father old-man, ancient one, so on and forth when he was alive, but the two had a wonderful father-son relationship, and Alex considers him the ultimate example of what a man is. Alex loves his mother, and she loves him back, but recently she's seemed to grow distant. This is because she's trying to negotiate with her family to recognize him as one of the clan, because she's worried what will happen to him if she dies before he's ready. Speaking of, Alex's grandparents from the Maher family started off as fairly cool and distant to him, recognizing him as their grandson but not really doing anything grandparently with him. This sort of got worse after what Jacob did, but Alex's exemplary performance at Hogwarts is changing their opinion, and by Year 5 they've become much warmer. They're not...bad people, they don't hate muggles, muggle-born, or half-bloods, and they would absolutely side against the Death Eaters, but they prefer to be around PLUs (People Like Us), with the exception of the Malfoy family, and so they're just a bit prejudiced. Jacob's actions stained their name, but Alex's are redeeming it and proving himself a worthy scion of the Maher clan. So he's now considered part of the family properly. Alex's grandparents on his father's side were much more warm from the start, so his relationship there is a lot better.
> 
> And then, there's Jacob. Alex used to worship his older brother, see him as someone who could do no wrong, but his actions and disappearance have hurt that image. For a while, Alex actually resented his older brother, and while he's no dedicated to saving him, he still wants to slug his big brother at least once. Jacob choosing to leave again to pursue R would actually make this worse, as Alex would be secretly furious that his brother would leave him and their mother behind again after just being freed. I think he could still forgive and love his brother, but he'd be a lot colder at first.

**Author's Note:**

> You know, while I was writing this story, I realized I don't like making nice characters sad. But I was already committed, so I figured I might as well see it through all the way, you know?


End file.
